Self-Esteem - Open the Floodgates

By Gloria Hamilten

Children often use love substitutes to get attention either positive attention or negative attention.

When you were growing up and were still a child, quite unconsciously, you used the three "As" to obtain what you perceived to be love.

The three As are:

• Attention

• Approval

• Achievement

If as a child, you felt deprived of love, you would have sought it using these three strategies.

You would have sought attention, even if it was negative attention. Feeling starved for love, the feeling that someone was talking to you, even if it was repramanding fulfilled your feeling of not being loved.

With the second strategy, approval, your reasoning would have been: 'If I am good I will get approval and that means they love me.'

So, you find the child who would appear to conform so as to be praised by teachers, even if it mean being ostracised by peers, as a goody-goody.

Either way, the child would have felt a sense of importance.

And the third, achievement, is a type of alternative or substitute for approval and/or attention.

Achievement could have come in getting awards and walking up on stage at school assemblies, final year award presentations, in charge of extra-curricular club groups, and so on.

So your school results were either very good and you would receive approval, of they were very bad and you would still receive attention.

However, even if you received heaps of attention and approval, these artificial means of getting 'love', still left an empty feeling.

Thus you did more of the above to get more love substitutes, but it never filled the void.

Many of these characteristics from school days disappeared once you had more control on your life and you sought different ways of being noticed as an adult.

In your everyday adult world you may not be aware of the level of your self-esteem.

It is when you need to get out of your comfort zone, when you have to try something new, something unfamiliar, when you have to do something you've unsuccessfully tried before, that the true worth of your self-esteem surfaces.

Have you ever caught yourself saying any of the following?

• I can't do that!

• I'll never be able to do that!

• I'm no good at that; never have been!

• I've never been good at that!

• Mum always said, I can't do those things

• Dad says, I'm hopeless at ball games

• I've always been too weak to do that

• I've always hated art; I can't draw

• I have to do (whatever it is) to prove it to my parents

• I have to prove myself

• I'll show them how good I am!

• I'll do it my way, too bad if I stuff it

• I usually stuff it, anyway

• And so on

If you have ever said anything, even remotely resembling the above, there are chinks in your self-esteem.

Seriously.

Here is a quote from Paul Blackburn, a highly respected life change guru of Australia, I especially like:

"You are the resource the rest of your life depends on."

Ummmm. What do you say to that?

Humbling, isn't it?

How are you looking after your resource, you?

Here is another quote:

"People are like teabags because you don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water."

Nice, isn't?

Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and People Skills for Business Professionals, such as Time Management, Negotiation Skills, Developing High-Performance Teams, Assertion Skills, Building International Rapport, Conflict Management and Resolution, Presentation and Platform Skills.

Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as ADD and its relations.

She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Corporate Organizations, Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia.

Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.

Gloria Hamilten has authored the eBook: "Practical Self-Hypnosis for Success" and many Reports and online articles.

Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres.

Visit her websites:

http://www.connect4results.com

http://neuro-linguistic-pro-site.com

This article may be freely reprinted or distributed in its entirety in any ezine, newsletter, or website. The author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and be included with every reproduction.

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Low Self-Esteem Affects Every Area of Your Life

By Jackie Beck

Self-esteem is the way one feels about and views themselves. Self-esteem has a simple definition, yet is a vitally important component of a successful and happy life. Without it, confidence lacks, depression or feelings of inadequacy increase and the quality of life in general begins to deteriorate. Self-esteem affects our relationships, our happiness with our life, our overall balance and health. Without a good self-esteem, then we will not reach the quality of life we are capable of reaching and our relationships with others and ourselves will suffer.

Symptoms that need to be treated and relieved are:

• Admiration of others without belief in own ability to accomplish similar achievements

• Always asking others for their opinion; never trusting one's self

• Easily exploited

• Feelings of being inferior

• Feelings of depression

• Feelings of guilt

• Feelings of unworthiness

• Frequent hesitation

• Lacking confidence

• Passive Nature

• Undervalue self

Through a combination of natural flower ingredients, your entire body will be brought back into balance and these symptoms of low self-esteem will begin to disappear. You will feel good about yourself and your confidence will increase. Additionally, life will begin to be more fun. Your relationship with yourself and with others will improve and your overall outlook will pick up and look up.

Specific ingredients in the flower solution are a combination of Cerato, Gentian, Larch, Pine and Scleranthus. These ingredients and this solution do not take the place of ability but helps you to know your abilities and feel the confidence and self-esteem to match. There is no risk whatsoever involved, with instead, everything to gain. No side effects, no weight gain, no negative effects whatsoever. Only help in a natural and native supplement through the essences of flowers.

By boosting your confidence and feelings of adequacy just when you need it, this combination, simply put works. Let these natural flower ingredients work for you too and begin to get started right now on the rest of your life; feeling confident, happy and looking outwardly your best!

Jackie Beck is the owner and founder of Healing Combinations.

By using Bach Flower essences, discovered by Dr. Edward Bach in the 1920's and 1930's, Healing Combinations provides natural remedies for low self-esteem. They produce natural products for a variety of physical, mental, and emotional issues, with a sense of social responsibility and integrity. You can purchase them individually in your local health food store or in the Low Self-Esteem combination at http://www.healingcombinations.com/lowselfesteem Think of them like affirmations for your soul.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jackie_Beck