Blaming Others A Sign Of Low Self Esteem

By Carla Valencia

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. - Wayne Dyer

Blaming others is a sign of low self-esteem because in doing so we are not taking responsibility. If you do not take responsibility you will always be a victim of your circumstances.

I used to blame everybody and everything in the past until I realized that in doing so my circumstances were not changing and my self esteem did not improved. When I became aware of this behavior I took the decision not to blame anymore.

Whenever I find myself blaming people or circumstances I stop and I say to myself: Is time to take responsibility and I take action. This new behaviour has helped me to build my self esteem because I do not feel the victim anymore.

Here are some tips to stop blaming others and circumstances:


● If you made a mistake, admit it.

● If there is something in your life you are not happy about, do something to change it.

● When you find yourself blaming stop and say to yourself: is time to take responsibility.

● Be open to other's people opinion and if you did something wrong apologize. Remember that you are not always right.
In his book Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden suggest the following:
Self-Responsibility:

● I am responsible for the achievement of my desires

● I am responsible for my choices and actions

● I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my work

● I am responsible for my behavior with other people - coworkers, associates, customers, spouse, children, friends

● I am responsible for how I prioritize my time

● I am responsible for the quality of my communications

● I am responsible for my personal happiness

● I am responsible for accepting or choosing the values by which I live

● I am responsible for raising my self-esteem
If you want to have a healthy self esteem you must practice self-responsibility. This means that you are accountable for your choices and action in your life and especially in relationship with your own self.

Carla's professional background includes 15 years working as a Software Developer and Technical Writer with import-export and manufacture companies. Her passion about self-esteem issues had leaded her to write about her personal experiences.

Since she was very young she spent a lot of time researching and interviewing close friends and family on this subject. She has been examining alternative ways of dealing with life on many different levels.

She studied Metaphysic, Buddhism, and participated in several workshops to work inside herself. She's been using several techniques since the last 10 years like Hoponopono, Emotional Freedom, Rebirthing, Shadow Work and Meditation.

She published her first book when she was 23, "Let's love ourselves as we are".

Her passion: "Give her personal experience to others", her expression: "My life is my teaching".http://www.selfesteemawareness.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carla_Valencia

Mastering Self Esteem

By Sheila Conrad

The dance of life is between learning how to release self-judgments and learning how to identify and embrace our true nature. We are the only ones standing in the way of our success. When we are ready to accept that we are the embodiment of love, joy, happiness, and peace, we receive them. To learn to get out of our own way takes practice, patience, and perseverance.

To the degree that we control our minds, we control our lives. We are not our thoughts, but rather the one who is thinking them, watching them go by. By clearing our minds, we can understand the reality we are creating with our thoughts. This will help us focus on what works in our lives to create self esteem.

A source of unhappiness in my life and in the lives of every person I have worked with professionally is the belief that we are not good enough exactly as we are. This belief allows us to avoid being all we can be.

The source of this unhappiness is self-criticism. Self-criticism is a learned behavior. Self-critical thinking prevents us from taking action in the world. Every one of us has the power to change the thoughts that create our suffering. To become responsible for ourselves, we must be willing to stop indulging in and focusing on thoughts of unworthiness. When we stop focusing on unworthiness, we realize we are perfect, exactly as we are.

When we do not identify with a negative behavior, it weakens. We can then more easily observe our critical comments about this behavior as if we were an objective witness, we can remain calm, centered, and compassionate. We can see ourselves as the witness of our actions and we don't identify with them. Rather than reacting and avoiding, we allow. When we become aware that we are negatively judging ourselves, we see the value of observing ourselves from an impartial witness space.

We are more precious and valuable than any idea, regardless of where it comes from or who agrees with it. As long as we value our ideas and concepts more than accepting ourselves exactly as we are, our suffering is guaranteed. When this happens, it is best not to dwell on the ideas that created our suffering. We need to decide what are we going to do about it.

Until we take responsibility for the life we are creating, we will not be fulfilled. When we see how we choose to dwell on negative experiences and notice what payoffs and negative rewards we receive from this behavior, we will know we can make other choices and we will begin to live our lives more positively.

We need to take responsibility for clearing our mental house of the old beliefs that hinder and limit us. We also need to care for our body by nourishing, exercising and resting it. Our spirit needs acknowledgment and recognition, meditation or quiet time. Our emotions need play, recreation, and discipline. This is an on-going daily process and a major purpose of our lives.

A friend said, "It is not what you get in life but how you deal with what you get that determines what kind of person you are."

© Sheila Radha Conrad 2008

From her book, "Self Recognition", counselor and trainer, Sheila Radha Conrad offers free Life Mastery Skills exercises on her web site at http://www.lifemasteryskills.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sheila_Conrad