Take Back Your Self Empowerment

By Sheri Falcone

Have you gone through periods of your life when you felt helpless and hopeless about your circumstances and destiny? I believe we all have.

Many of us have experienced the tragedy of physical or emotional abuse, broken relationships or the death of loved ones. The first thing we want to do is blame others or outside influences for our state of mind, financial stresses, relationship stresses or just life.

It's so easy to blame the abusive person or the person who broke our hearts for destroying our ability to love or trust again. You're placing on others the responsibility of your life, your emotions, your self worth, and happiness. However, blame is the easy way out and is a very disempowering emotion.

When we are thinking of making changes in our lives, we have a tendency to look externally. We think if we change our outsides, then we will be happy. We are waiting for the circumstances to change before we can be happy. However, true happiness comes from inside out; taking control of our own lives, being responsible for our own emotions, making the right choices for us.

The simple choice of taking responsibility for your self and life is the first step towards picking up the pieces of your life and starting over. When you focus your attention on making positive changes in your life, the constraints of the past are removed and you can be, do or have anything you desire. The power of deliberate positive thoughts will literally change your reality.

True empowerment is not just about taking control, fighting injustices or passing new laws that we think society needs to change the world. Empowerment starts within us first. It begins with our willingness and acceptance to be responsible for what is happening in our own lives.

I'm sure at some point in our life; we are all face with challenges and adversity. Some of us want to point the finger at others or outside situations, while others own their responsibility, making necessary changes to grow and learn from those challenges and get on with our lives. The sooner we realize this lesson, the sooner we will find life happier and with less stress. The way we handle our pain and these challenges and let it transform us makes the difference between winning and losing life's battles. The realization of this and the appropriate action makes you the true master of your own destiny. Isn't this what we all desire?

So I say to those who are still playing the blame game, it is time to take back your own empowerment and start living the life you so richly deserve. A life of choice and freedom.

About the Author: Sheri Falcone is a novice author, student of personal growth, and entrepreneur who enjoys helping others become truly empowered and achieve their dreams. She has turned her passion into a lucrative personal development, home business, http://www.setnolimits.info This business system provides all the tools you will need to create greater prosperity and joy in your life. Her enthusiasm is contagious and she believes laughter and appreciation are our emotional healers.

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Be Happy With Who You Are

By Shilpan Patel

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." - First lady Eleanor Roosevelt.

We often have thoughts of "Why don't I look like this movie star ?" or if we see some-one's nice looking spouse and a thought instantly comes to our mind "Why don't I have a good looking spouse like this?". You are trying to be someone who you never can be. This thought process is the most destructive to your inner and outer personal growth since this thought simply makes your subconscious mind to believe that you have no confidence in your own destiny. Have you ever driven a car that you believed not reliable to take you where you want to go ?. Your life will not reap fruits of dreams if you lack self-esteem and love for your mind, body and soul.

If a roof is improperly made or in disrepair, rain will leak into the house; so doubt enters the mind that is improperly trained or lack roof of self esteem. Indeed, there is nothing more dreadful than the cloud of doubt. Learn to appreciate the fact that god made you as an unique individual who can never be replicated, you are born to be who you are. If you bought a boat, you realize that a small rudder controls navigation of your boat. You are the captain. If you learn how to control rudder, you can sail the world. A garden looks beautiful due to variation of plants and their colors. So, is our life. World is exciting place to live because we all are different in our looks, our thoughts and our dreams. You do not always have to look handsome to be an actor. You do not have to be a perfect communicator to be a journalist. All you need is to try best for the work that pleases you most.

There has never been and never will be another you. We feel happy when we meet with people who we hold high in our assessment. You take time to learn their talents and beauty as a person but do you ever assess own self-worth ? Do you ever consider yourself as talented or as beautiful as your idols ? Who is stopping you from doing that ? It's no other than yourself. It is no other than your own thinking. Over the years you allow external circumstances and opinions of others to stereotype a low self esteem syndrome as many of us do. Start thinking positive, start believing that your mind can achieve what it can conceive. Start feeling that you have what it takes to control your destiny, you are steward of your dreams and just when it seems that you're out of luck, universe will come through with opportunity if you never doubt your ability to achieve dreams. Loving yourself will make you feel happy from within. That happiness will transpire in your attitude and your view of the world around you.

In "Acres of Diamonds" a legendary short novel, Russell Conwell talks about a farmer in South Africa. This farmer learns the riches found in diamond mines in his country and decides to find his own riches. He sells his farm in search for one with diamonds. He never found what he looked for and eventually drowned himself in a river. The person who purchased his farm found a marvelous shiny stone, a diamond. He found not one but thousands of diamonds in the farm that the owner sold is pursuit of what was in his own possession. What we learn from this is that every human has what it takes to achieve inner happiness and dreams regardless of circumstances. Start planting thoughts of positive feelings in your mind and you will reap positive results. If we betray our own body, mind and soul then no one else will plant seeds of faith in our life.

"You must get rid of thought of competition. You are a creator not a competitor" - Wallace D Wattles. What this means is that when we try to imitate someone who is good looking or successful, we are planting seeds of jealousy and competition. Creator has created abundance. You can get abundance without being an imitator. All you have to be is a creator of your own success. When you remove thoughts of competition, you are abandoning thoughts of self doubts. This will help you to start searching for what you want to be within you. Don't search for what you want to be in someone else since acres of diamonds exists within you.

Shilpan Patel

Please visit my websites for this and many other articles of inspiration.http://www.successsoul.comhttp://esuccessblog.blogspot.com

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4 Personal Development Steps To Higher Self-Esteem

By Michael McGrath

There are thousands, if not millions, of people who are trying to create a better life for themselves and their families. They put their best foot forward and give it everything they've got yet just seem to fail continually.

Why is this so?

The truth of failure, when you try your hardest and are prepared, is low self esteem. You cannot achieve anything of value for yourself if you do not appreciate, respect and love yourself. If you have a self-image that does not support you then no-one else will support and neither will life!

I'm sure you know of someone who sells themselves short in a relationship. There are many people who put up with unloving relationships and relationships that neither support nor encourage them. Most people keep their dreams hidden from the world and even those closest to them. They will not set goals to achieve them due to fear and apathy. What these people lack is a basic belief in themselves and their abilities.

Is there something you would like to achieve in your life or improve but you lack the belief that it is possible for you? Do you see other people succeed and believe that others can do but you can't?

We all suffer from some form of self-doubt. This is a necessary part of the human condition. Self-doubt can keep us safe. It is designed to keep us safe. You have a great deal of doubt that you could walk on water and therefore do not drown. You doubt that you are capable of walking on fire and therefore do not get burned. However, many of our doubts are unfounded and have their roots in the soil of low self-esteem!

If one human has achieved something great then other human beings can achieve it also. If you have dreams and desires rejoice. Ask yourself if you believe God would have given you such dreams and desires if you were incapable of achieving them? Do you think the Creator would be so cruel? You must realise that you would not have these dreams if you were not capable of achieving them!

However, you must learn the skills you need to learn to achieve your goals and make your action worthwhile. But, before you acquire the necessary knowledge and skill to complete the task of achieving your goals it is of major importance that you first believe that you are capable of achieving them.

To build faith and the belief that your goal will be accomplished you must first build faith and belief in yourself. You must build your confidence in your abilities and strengthen your self esteem. This will radically alter your self-image and you will start to view yourself as a winner and someone who can achieve his goals.

Here are four easy to follow steps to building your self esteem and changing your self-image.

1. The first step to high self esteem is to stop berating yourself. We all criticise ourselves. Some do it constantly. This is one of the most damaging things you can do with your thought processes. Be compassionate with yourself when you make mistakes, we all make them. Congratulate yourself that regardless of how many mistakes you have made in the past or how many hurtful experiences you encountered you were able to deal with them and are still here today and getting on with your life.

When you find yourself berating yourself then stop and reverse it. Look for the things that you did right in the situation. If you hadn't have dealt with the situation in the way you did might it have turned out worse?

2. Start to give yourself forgiveness for your previous short-comings. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes you may have made. Write them down if you want and read over them. Take the paper and tear it into tiny pieces, Then throw it away or go outside and let the wind take it for you. This is symbolic of you releasing the past and moving on.

3. Give yourself some approval. Look for the things you have done correctly. Review all the things in life that you have achieved both recently and in the long past. Allow yourself to accept that you have done things right. Give yourself compliments when you achieve even the smallest of objectives. When you complete a goal or obtain an objective reward yourself.

4. Learn to love yourself. Each day for 5 or 10 minutes stand in front of a mirror. Look into your own eyes and say out loud "I love and accept you just as you are." In the beginning this simple exercise can be extremely hard to do. Many people have become so accustomed to beating themselves up that they have forgotten how to nurture themselves. When you do this exercise you will find thoughts and feelings arising that contradict what you are saying. This is the perfect opportunity to release these past negative, false beliefs.

When such thoughts arise do not try to suppress them. Instead allow them to surface and allow yourself to fully feel the emotions that are attached to them. This is vitally important. Suppressing an emotion will keep it active and the thoughts that are linked to it. By allowing the feeling to be fully expressed in your body it will naturally dissipate. If you find some stubborn feelings and thoughts persisting then stop for a moment and give them some real thought. Is that really true about you? Is it possible that the belief you now hold could be incorrect?

When you follow these simple exercises you will build your self esteem to heights unimagined. When you increase your love and approval for yourself your life just starts working. You will find improvements begin almost immediately with little or no effort from you. A by-product of this increased self esteem will be better relationships. Your closest interpersonal relationships will benefit greatly from the work you are doing and it will all happen naturally and effortlessly. It is by loving yourself that you truly learn to love other people. When you have respect for yourself other people are tuned into this and it sends them a clear unconscious message about how you want to be treated. Treat yourself with respect,, love, compassion and kindness and others will treat you that way also.

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10 Secretly Powerful Ways To Explode Your Self Esteem And Banish Your Blushing

By NJ Brighton

1. Ask for your self confidence back for a minute

At some point in your life, you have experienced healthy levels of self confidence. If you did not, then you would not feel the need to acquire it now. It's like someone who has never experimented with drugs suddenly saying "I need another fix of heroin..."

Therefore, if you know you have experienced confidence, you now know that it is perfectly possible to experience it again. In other words, there is nothing in the way your brain is shaped, the way your brain thinks or the things you do with yourself from day to day that can actually physically stop you from feeling confident.

This might sound weird to you, but it's actually true.

Nothing has changed physically since you last felt like a million dollars that can possibly change the way your brain works. It can still feel confident, if you let it. So think back to a time when you felt confident and try to close your eyes and remember what you felt physically, what your voice sounded like and how people reacted to you.

The more you do this, the easier your mind will be able to re-trigger its' own ability to feel those forgotten emotions.

Just think of it like a broken down car that takes ages to start, the more you rev the engine and turn the key (and maybe get some people to push from behind), the quicker you'll be up to full speed and onto your journey safely home.

Be as detailed about this experience as you can so that it is vivid in your mind. Refer to this experience to remind you that you have been confident before and will be again!

2. Chart Your Winnings

Write down things you've been successful at in the past, even earlier today. It doesn't have to be winning a marathon or landing on the moon, just things that you executed successfully. Perhaps you finished all your work on time, made someone smile, cooked a great dinner or just got home in one piece (which is a success in this day and age!)

In other words, success is anything that you've done that has made you proud of yourself. But what if you haven't done a single thing all day or all week/month or year (highly unlikely)...then DO something tonight. Clean the house, cook someone dinner, give someone a gift, write a poem, learn something by reading a book...whatever, just do it...today.

Record all your successes in a book, album or folder. Tuck it away within reaching distance of where you frequent. Perhaps your home office, your computer, T.V, workspace or bedside table?

When your confidence is low, read your own success stories to remind you that you have been successful in the past, and of course that you have the ability to be as (if not more) successful in the future...never stop improving yourself.

You have the ability to improve all areas of your life, no matter who you are or what you do. Self improvement is the source of every good thing that enters your life, and is responsible for every negative thing that leaves your life. Write that down...

3. Visualize yourself with success and high self esteem.

See the person you would be if you were a success from the outside, study him/her, how they walk, breath, talk and etc. Now try to be one with that person in your mind, it will be hard to do at first, but if you make this a daily assignment for yourself, it will get easier, and it will work wonders for your self esteem and self confidence.

4. Set goals for you, not them

Do it for yourself, plan your own successes, and reward yourself, at least emotionally by praising yourself whenever you achieve some sort of success or small step towards success. Don't forget, success and personal development/achievement is made up of many small steps. Don't discount the small steps as "not quite making it work". I have known people 2 simple steps away from becoming millionaires, yet passed everything up at the last two steps. Don't follow their path!

Make small achievable goals to begin with, it is a great confidence booster to achieve a goal, no matter how small it may seem to others. However, do not settle for overall goals that are too small. You will never get out of bed each day if your goal is just to "get through the day" at work.

5. Speak with your limbs.

We've all been in social situations where someone leaps into a room, makes eye contact and starts chatting with everyone around. There are no averages in this world, just people who believe and people who want to believe. Make your choice. If you learn to believe in yourself, don't even think about who you are or what people might think...because you don't need to know that. All you need to know is that you are the person that has every right to walk this floating rock as the next.

In my case, I couldn't care less whether you're a college drop out or the prime minister, you better respect me or I'll turn my back on you and take my would-be respect for you elsewhere my friend...be tough, but not rude...

First impressions count. Practise good posture. Imagine that you're being pulled by a string going all the way from your toes to the top of your head. And whenever you enter a room, don't walk in as if you're not welcome. No-one else does, and you're no different. Stride in, make eye contact and be the first to introduce yourself. Don't ever look down as if you've done something wrong, those people in that room are most likely dying for someone with a bit of spark to liven up the atmosphere. Let that be your job...let them have what they need of you!

6. Be comfortably dressed

I've made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing unflattering clothes. The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the same parts of your body that you're trying to hide! Those baggy T-shirts and jeans don't do any justice for anyone, male or female.

7. Keep learning new skills

Aside from keeping your mind sharp , be a life student. If traditional education is something you are interested in, then do it. But don't just do it to get a pay rise...do it because you want to...and because you want to improve yourself.

If college isn't your thing, just do what I do and read books. Fiction, non-fiction, whatever you decide. The point is that reading has been extensively proven to increase our levels of intelligence, grammar and punctuality.

With these improved qualities under your belt, you will have no problems conversing with people in more and more social situations.

Nothing is stopping you from learning a new language, taking a new hobby class, learning some new technical skills, etc. Write a date in you diary for the start of you new learning term. Stick to it and do it! I promise 1005 on my life that it WILL make you feel so much better about yourself (and will give you something to talk about in those previously awkward social situations).

8. Stand up and fight, dammit...

Don't be a doormat, it destroys the soul! If you don't speak up, you will allow others not only to make assumptions, but also to push you towards situations where you feel even less comfortable. Once you start speaking up for yourself, you will have more control over where you want to be, when you want to be there and with whom.

Start small (complaining when food tastes bad or someone ignores you) and work your way up to an opinionated force to be reckoned with (commanding people to listen to your valid points, asking for a pay rise etc).

Again, this is a natural emotional ability you have. For example if you were in court, being falsely accused of murder, potentially facing life imprisonment...would you just look down at the floor and worry about shouting "No you are wrong!"?

9. Take small steps to big success

Take each day at a time, otherwise you will become discouraged. The pint is not to think small and conquer small, but to think of an overall huge goal and then work backwards to where you are now. Break each step down into actionable pieces. Before you know it, you will be on top and may even feel a little dizzy from the height!

10. Ignore the negative

But when it arrives, use it to make yourself indestructible by learning from your mistakes, which others let beat them down. Some of the riches people in the world (apart from lottery winners) were only able to achieve such success from making hundreds of mistakes. Put your ego to one side, let your mistakes feed you with powerful messages to improve your life.

If you and I were racing through a jungle full of Lions and wild hunters, and I told you that you were going to be eaten and I would survive, what do you think I would tell you to allow you to live?

Well, the truth is you wouldn't have a clue. That is, unless you made that trip everyday. And there it is, I now tell you that I make this trip everyday, amongst the Lions and the other hunters, across the lake and the swamps, through the bushes and around the traps.

How did I not get eaten? I learned from many generations of people who got savaged, lost friends and family and barely survived to tell the tale...

So because I have made this journey everyday, learning from others and from my own experience, I can tell you which way to go. Now you will be safe...

There are many theories for a blushing free life. I can only hope you are not led to the ones that cost you more time, pain and discomfort than the original problem of blushing itself. Instead, I would encourage you to visit http://www.facialredness.co.uk and see how you can block out and stop facial blushing for good with my unique system before the spiral goes too far. (Plus you can still grab a special free report to boost your self esteem in just one weekend... hurry, it won't be there for ever!)

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Casualty of Divorce - Self Esteem

By Lisa Fredette

The reason for and the process of divorce is as varied as the shape of snowflakes. There is however a commonality among most divorce survivors - low self-esteem. Almost everyone I have spoken to or have coached around divorce recovery have low self-esteem in common. Therefore, one of the first steps in divorce recovery should be rebuilding your self-esteem. How do you go about rebuilding your self esteem, especially during an emotionally low point such as divorce?

The answer to that question is easy - you choose to change. Okay, so the answer may be easy but the implementation may not be so easy, right?

You may assume that the most common approach may be to look at why you are suffering from such low self-esteem, but I beg to differ. The truth is that you do suffer from low self-esteem - how you got to this point is not relevant because it has already happened - can't change that fact. All you can do is start from where you are now and decide where you want to go, so let's get started.

Here are seven steps to help you rebuild your self-esteem

1. Surround yourself with positive people: negative people drag the people around them down and positive people motivate others to come up to their level of enthusiasm. So take a look at the people in your life - are they positive? If they are not positive people I recommend limiting or eliminating your association with these people as they will keep you stuck. Go in search for people who are positive and are living the life they love and surround yourself with them.

2. Take Risks: try something new, step outside of your comfort zone. Once you realize that you can succeed at whatever you try you will start to believe that you are good enough. If you can't do it alone find a support buddy to try something new with or at least have them hold you accountable so you follow through when you start feeling uncomfortable.

3. Keep an Acknowledgement Journal: take the time to appreciate yourself and all that you do and contribute to the world. Begin writing down at least five things that you acknowledge yourself for doing each day, you will be amazed how wonderful you are - you just never took the time to look.

4. Make a commitment to change: you can choose to feel good or you can choose to feel bad about yourself and your life. What do you choose? Make the commitment to change your thinking today. Start appreciating what is right in the world and in your life and change the things that you don't like or don't want - stop being the victim and start taking action.

5. Change your Negative Self Talk: you know that voice in your head that tells you that you screwed up, that you're not good enough or you're stupid? Start telling that voice to shut up and start listening to the positive self talk. I challenge you to pay close attention to what you are telling yourself in any given situation; if it is negative find a way to turn it around into something positive. You learned how to talk negatively to yourself now teach yourself how to talk positively. Believe it or not it is a choice - will you live your life in negativity or will you shine in the light of positiveness?

6. Ask for support: if you find that you just can't make these changes on your own, but are committed to change then ask others for support. Find a coach, minister or support group to help you learn to appreciate yourself for all your greatness and leave that negative self-esteem behind.

7. Take Action: start to get moving, whether you start walking, running, going to the gym or work out at home - just do something. Physical activity is a great way to make you feel better both physically and emotionally. Make the commitment to get moving today and before you know it you will see your self-esteem skyrocket and you may even be able to fit into your skinny jeans again, who knows. Wouldn't hurt to find out, now would it?

If you are motivated to turn that self-esteem around and start living your life in a positive light then contact me for a sample coaching session.

Lisa A. Fredette is a CTA Certified Life Coach and a member of the Relationship Coaching Institute as well as a graduate of the Fearless Living Workshop. She is the owner of Passionate About Life Coaching and Passionate About Life Coach Divorce Recovery Coaching Club. Lisa provides one on one and group coaching, workshops, teleseminars, ebooks, ecourses and a coaching club for her clients. Her main focus is on supporting women who are motivated to take their divorce recovery to the next level and singles who want to attract the right partner. Sign up for Lisa's free report "Be the Navigator: Six Easy Steps to Getting Back into the Driver's Seat of Life" at http://www.lisafredette.com or sign up for the Passionate about Life Coach - Divorce Recovery Coaching Club at http://www.passionateaboutlifecoach.com and gain the support you need to turn your divorce into a celebration of life.

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Heal and Release the Past

By Stephanie Marrone

I had a completely different idea for my main article but certain events that happened today helped me to tune into my soul and listen for what I really want to write about.

It's a New Year and I am feeling elated about the possibilities for me this year. When I wrote my premier issue of Passion and Purpose, I wasn't quite how it was going to unfold.

I took another full time job while I am building a strong solid foundation for my coaching practice. At first, I was looking for something part-time. However, this opportunity presented itself out of pure synchronicity and I am sure of it. My childhood friend works for a family owned real estate company and they were looking for a full time receptionist. I interviewed for the position and it was offered to me the same day. I started the job on December 29.

Okay, so what does my job situation have to do with healing your past?? You see, my childhood friend and I lost contact at one point for eight years. When we connected again it was as if no time had passed. I recently moved to an apartment three short blocks away from her without even realizing it. The next thing I know her and I are working for the same company. We drive into work every morning and talk about the old days. She knows and has witnessed the environment that I grew up in. Let's just say my childhood wasn't the most loving at times. My point being is that there is no coincidence that we live near each other and work together. She is helping me heal the past by the great laughs we have every morning and the connection we still have after 25 years. In talking about certain past incidents with her I realized that I still might be harboring resentment from past hurts. I am working on making peace with the past and making room for all that is possible in 2004.

Put the past where it belongs. Embrace the good times and forgive the bad times. Love every single part of you and know that you are worth having everything you desire. Whether we want to admit to it or not every experience we have shapes who we are. I am a more confident, stronger and passionate human being because of the experiences I had. I now know that I can create my life and that the only limitations are the ones that I might self-impose.

Make 2004 your best year yet. Release, heal and make room for all the magic that is in store for you.

About The Author: Stephanie Marrone was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. She is the owner and founder of Passionate Living, Inc. Stephanie's mission is to empower, encourage and inspire men and women all around the world to live a life that is authentic and aligned with their true values. In addition to heading her own coaching business, she is the author, editor and publisher of Passion and Purpose, a monthly e-newsletter dedicated to helping individuals live their best life.

Stephanie's background includes 10+ years experience managing the time of busy executives from different business sectors ranging from finance to healthcare. She became a life coach because she cares about people and is passionate about working with and supporting enthusiastic people who want to live richer, passionate and purpose-filled lives. Stephanie received my coach training and certification through Coach Training Alliance and is working towards taking advanced coach training so that she can keep current with the coaching profession and always add more value to her clients. She is a proud member of the International Coach Federation (ICF), International Association of Coaches (IAC), Coachville, and the National Association for Female Executives (NAFE).

stephaniemarrone@yahoo.com

Winning Self Esteem

By Delton Doucet

Your self-esteem is very important in the level of confidence you will have throughout your daily life. It is the way you view and feel about yourself that will have a very profound effect on how you life will proceed each day.

The opinions and experiences that you have gathered since child hood from family members, school, your friends and society as a whole plays a part in developing self-esteem but how you take it all in and view those opinions determines your selfesteem.

We seek encouragement and approval from others especially parents and role models as we are growing up and this plays a huge roll in the development and the building of self esteem as we try to build confidence within our selves.

As teens and into adult hood there is a constant barrage of commercials, opinions from others, family members that we should be slim, dress fashionable, be financially successful and if we are having problems living up to all this it can and does have a impact on our lives and leads to low self esteem.

The opposite is also just as true that if we have managed to live up to this expectation it can and sometime does lead to pride in our ability and in ourselves but friends and society can view us as being arrogant and conceited and resent us for being so successful and this can have an effect on our self confidence.

Your self-esteem will fluctuate daily and is highly affected by other people and events of the day but you are in total control of your self confidence and self esteem levels, it is up to you to determine if you will allow these events to control your life.

Just as rejection and loss can be underlying factors for low self esteem success and achievement can great boost you to higher levels of confidence and self-esteem.

However how we feel solely about ourselves is also determined by our relationships we have with others and if we are felt worthwhile as individuals. We are humans and we have a natural instinct to be wanted and included as well as wanted to contribute and be a value member of society that makes a difference, we want to feel that we matter.

Many people seek out a life coach or a confidence coach to help build self esteem and to build confidence and while this is great for I feel everyone can use help every now and then what every one must realize is that change is not easily accomplished.

Change means stepping outside of you comfort zone and this can lead to more selfesteem issues. This is why goal setting is very important when developing self esteem. It allows you to set small goals to achieve to eventually work you way up to the big goals you have for yourself all while along the way you gradually build your confidence levels and your self esteem to becoming the person you wish to become and also by doing this you build a inner confidence that will not be easily influenced by others and events is society.

Nothing worth having ever comes easy. If everything came easily to you then you wouldn't value it so much when you acquired it.

You must be determined to improving your self esteem and you will soon find yourself achieving greater things as your confidence builds. Remember the way you feel about yourself also determines how others will interact with you and vice versa.

One of the best things I ever did for my self esteem issues was to finally be able to convince myself that if I was going to have the life I wanted I didn't have time to worry about what others thought of me.

If I allowed what they thought of me to determine my actions then that meant they were controlling my life and I am the only one that controls my own life and that goes for you also.

© Copyright 2007 - All Rights Reserved Delton Doucet

If you are ready to achieve more than you have ever dreamed, live happier, healthier, and wealthier and eliminate fears, frustrations and failures then discover what the success factor can do for you -> confidence

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The Lack Of Adolescent Self Esteem

By Ray Andrew

I want to talk a little about how it affects adolescent self esteem, what are the possible causes and what you can do about it. There are many teenagers that have low self esteem and need help and support from their parents and friends.

The causes

There are different causes, it could be heredity in the case that the parents have it, it can also be education what cultural values and beliefs did you learn at school, some might not be positive and also your environment, what are the people that grow up with you, your parents, your friends, your teachers and anyone else that gave you advice.

Those are the most common factors that affect your adolescent self esteem. So those factors can be positive or negative, if you live in a difficult environment in your house, where your parents fight all the time and don't pay you attention, you might have low self esteem.

If in the school your teachers treat you bad and your friends made fun of you in any way, you might have the problem. Some people are not affected by negative views or criticism but other are very sensitive to them.

Is very important to encourage adolescent self esteem because is the age when they are developing and creating their own personality, they have some emotional problems either with school or with a love and it can affect a lot.

Remedies

If you have a problem of self confidence, its important that you talk to your friends or parents about it, just find someone that respect you and understand you, you will feel better.

There are different things that you can do to improve your self confidence, like doing exercise, meeting new people, learning new skills, reading positive affirmations, helping other people, taking your own decisions and improving your self image.

Most adolescents suffer from low self esteem at some point, but there is a lot that can be done to help them, visit us: self improvement rules
at http://www.selfesteemimprovementtips.com/

You can also read about: quotes of self improvement

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Self-Esteem Boost - Taking Back The Matches

By Aislinn O'connor

Self-esteem's as necessary to your happiness as breathing is to physical survival, but sometimes it can use a boost. Often, that's because someone close to you has unintentionally damaged it.

Recently there was a fire which burned down a house. Unknown to their parents, one of the children had found a box of matches. Fascinated by the sparks and the exciting sound they made when they scratched them along the side of the box, the children had struck match after match... till one fell on the carpet, still alight.

The children didn't have a notion of the danger they were in, or the damage they might do. They lit the matches for one reason only -- because the temptation to make use of the power that had inappropriately come into their hands was irresistible.

Well, it isn't only children who do that. In fact, if someone in your life is making it a misery, it's a pretty fair bet that he, or she, just can't resist the temptation to use the power over your feelings, and therefore your behavior, that you yourself have given them.

We do it for the best of reasons. If you love someone, for example, of course you want to please them -- but if you can only like yourself if they approve of everything you say or do, that's an awful lot of power to give anyone, and more than most of us can safely handle.

There may be certain things you have to do to please a boss, or teacher, colleagues, partner, family members or companions -- but, again, you can't let their approval be the only thing that makes you feel you're a good person. If you do, no matter how grown-up they are, you'll turn them into spoilt, demanding children -- and the box of matches that they're playing with is you.

If there's someone in your life who seems to be impossible to please, here's what you can do about it.

1. Remember that it's your life. No-one owns you. It's right to do the best you can for other people, but not to feel and act as if you're helpless. You have needs and choices, too - and you're the only one responsible for how much happiness (or otherwise!) you get from life.

2. Ask yourself exactly who has got you on the run, and what they do that's making you feel bad.

3. Make a list, just for yourself, of any valid criticisms they may have about you, and what you plan to do to put those right. Be absolutely honest here - even the most awkward person in the world might have a valid point occasionally, and in undertaking to improve yourself where necessary you begin to take control.

4. Now picture each person who's been making you uncomfortable. Accept that, although you haven't previously realised it, you yourself have granted them the power to wound your feelings deeply. Their approval has become so essential to you that you've put your self-esteem into their hands... and like the children with the box of matches, the temptation to use that power has proved irresistible.

5. Now all you have to is just -- take back the matches! In your mind, see each of those people with a box of matches in their hands -- a big, bright-coloured box, with "Self-Esteem" written on the front and back of it. Hear yourself speaking to each person in your own words, and pleasantly, but firmly, ask them for the matches back.

You might say something like, "I love you" (or "like you", or "respect you", depending on the relationship involved) "very much, but I need my self-esteem back so that I can love" (or "like" or "respect") "myself as well, and make this whole relationship work better."

Next, in your mind, reach out and take the box of matches from them, with a smile -- if it's someone you love, you might want to add a kiss, for good measure. Now see yourself being in that person's company quite calmly, and that person looking at you with respect and admiration.

Use this technique as many times as you like until you find that you can deal with people easily and comfortably, and you no longer react so strongly and so painfully to what they say or do.

As long as you are really working on removing any reasonable causes for annoyance they might have with you, you should find that their behavior will start to change.

There are very few people who will ever take you at any higher valuation than they see you placing on yourself -- but most will also recognize when that valuation rises, and will see the need to treat you more respectfully.

The best use for your mind's internal box of matches is to let your own light shine.

Aislinn O'Connor is a motivational writer and audio producer. For your complimentary copy of her book, Your Daily Inspiration, visit http://www.Supreme-Success.com.

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Ways To Improve Self Esteem

By Michael Malega
I hope that the following article will help you to better understand this topic.

Some people who have a low self value relay to a great extent on their day to day performances. The positive external experience and encouragements help them to fight the negative feelings that they have about themselves. These negative feelings very often upset the people with a low self esteem in some situations and cases these feelings anguish them.

Surly there are many known ways of improving the low self esteem. The pursuit way is one of the easiest and the simplest way to battle low self esteem that we become victims of.

The method is known as "three steps to a better self esteem". The three major n-ways of improving self respect are 1. Rebut the internal critic that keeps on Using its mouth unnecessarily. 2. Practice the art of self nurturing 3. Get the much needful help from other people who are close to you.

The first and the most significant step to increases your self value is that to tell the inner voice to shut up. Some of the common examples that you can enforce in the process of improving your self value are as follows. The inner voice might say. "The viewers liked the project presented by me. But Nobody seemed to notice the number of times I went wrong. There are many places where I have gone wrong in the program it was a flop". In such a position you must praise yourself. The project showing was good though I could have better the current status of the project that was very good. It was a success.

Rebutting the inner voice that keeps on criticizing you should be done on a steady basis .However this step is not enough to develop your self esteem. The second step that you must initiate on your way to a good for you self esteem is that you should nurture yourself. The most significant part of this step is start treating yourself as a person who is worth while. Low and mediocre self value is often the consequence of sorry or a wrong treatment precondition to you in the past.

Therefore you must start regarding yourself as a worthwhile person. You must be able to challenge negative experiences in the past and you should start loving yourself. Try to change yourself and show to the outside world that you are valuable, competent, loveable and deserving person

One of the most efficient ways to better your self esteem is to ask for support to your teachers, friends and parents and in general to the people who are close to you. Another healy approach is to try to realize that you are an individual and not like somebody else, you are unique and understand that God personally has made you special and has best for you in your personal life.

Don't let this evil thought to get a grasp of you, just remember they are not your friends and to most people surprise are quite the apposite so just watch them and don't believe their accusations.

In conclusion I’d like to say thank you to you for reading this article and good luck with any issues related to this information.

Michael Malega presents several ways to improve self esteem articles for your information. You can visit Michael's web site at: Ways To Improve Self Esteem http://www.improve-self-esteem.net/Ways-To-Improve-Self-Esteem.php

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Self Esteem for Women

By Katrina Wilton

"Would you consider yourself someone with high self esteem, or low self esteem?" The natural reaction when asked a question like this may well be "high self esteem of course!", but the truth may paint a very different picture.

Self esteem for women, especially, seems to be generally lower than it should be, and unfortunately far too often accompanied by poor body image. Why then are so many women subject to this deprecating state of mind? Perhaps it comes back to the natural laws of femininity. You see, a woman in her natural, feminine state has an in-built desire to radiate beauty. It’s the very reason that we women wear make-up, shave our legs, wax our eyebrows, love to shop, etc.

If that desire for beauty extended to finding that which we already have, it would be an absolute blessing. Unfortunately however, the unhealthy side of that desire for beauty, is in seeking it externally and creating unhealthy comparisons to others.

This damaging act of comparison is concerning enough in its own right, but consider who we are really comparing ourselves against. Whether consciously or not, we are most certainly using the media images that we’re constantly bombarded with as a benchmark for what is the ‘right’ size, body shape or look.

The problem with that is this; the women in the media - actresses, singers, models, etc – are in front of the camera for a living! Their livelihood revolves around how good they look with their faces and bodies featured up close and personal on giant screens around the world. I’m certain just about anyone in the same position would make it an absolute priority to ensure there isn’t a scrap of fat to be seen, or a single hair out of place. They have the money, the resources and, most importantly, extreme motivation to ensure that this standard is always maintained – and all too often at the cost of their health.

The other problem with using the media as a benchmark can be found in the simple act of picking up a magazine. It only takes a quick flip through the pages of any women’s fashion magazine to make even a woman with great self esteem feel like a fat pig! Between the scarily thin catwalk models, and the lighting, make up, good photography, and of course airbrushing and photoshop techniques, the end result is that we find ourselves envying a picture of a woman who isn’t even real.

In fact, for a wonderful example of what’s involved in creating the finished look of a model in a print advertisement, I highly encourage you to watch the video that Dove put together as part of their Campaign for Real Beauty.

Naturally none of this is to say that we shouldn’t care about our appearance, or enjoy making ourselves look and feel beautiful, but simply that if we must peg ourselves against a benchmark, perhaps we should consider someone more realistic.

It’s so important to keep ourselves healthy from the inside out, and that includes our mind… Don’t let these unrealistic images of beauty fool you into thinking you’re not good enough the way you are.

My tip for this is to make a list of everything you like about yourself from the inside out. In fact, one exercise I did was to go through my body parts one by one and write down why I loved them. I can assure you that when I got to my thighs, I found it a little challenging, but I managed to come up with how much I love that they are strong and carry me wherever I want to go!

Don’t let the negative thoughts creep in, they are like a cancer for your mind… find reasons to love everything about who you are, in all your fabulous individuality!

Katrina Wilton is Director and Co-Founder of Australian Company Glow Health & Wellness Pty Ltd. Created with her sister Sabrina Holmes, Glow is a company dedicated to empowering women to love who they are and live the life of their dreams.

Self Esteem for Women Dare to be Fabulous!

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Building Self-Esteem By Re-Wiring Our Minds

By Lyca Shan

As I see it, building self-esteem is a life long process. It is a part of who we are and that in essence, makes it a living-breathing thing. My worldview is so completely different now than 10 years ago, that none of my actions, answers or responses to situations or questions would be close to the same.

Are we ever really "done?" I hope not! For me the joy of life is tied to the learning process. It isn't like baking a cookie "Ding!" and your done. Then what?
We always need new challenges, dreams and aspirations and building self-esteem is just a part of that package. So instead of seeing it as a chore, perhaps we should ease into it as an exploration.

We all see the world through vision goggles of some kind, our tempers, moods, emotions and actions relying heavily on how we feel about ourselves at any given moment. In that respect our view of reality is tied to our identities on a very deep level. You could view building self-esteem as creating a new pair of "goggles!"

Imagine if you will two men standing by the side of the road on their way back from lunch, waiting to cross an intersection. An old blue pickup truck pulls up to the light. As the first man's gaze falls on the relic, a memory is triggered and he smiles. This truck reminds him of their old family vehicle. He recalls working side by side with his father as a young boy, fixing the engine on a long summer day, recollecting how they connected, and how it made him feel as a child to be entrusted with helping for the first time on such an important job. It is a fleeting memory, barely touching his consciousness, yet he goes back to work that day feeling lighter somehow, smiling at the receptionist as he comes back from lunch and cracking jokes with his co-workers as he settles back down at his desk.

Back to the intersection:

As the second man sees the pickup truck pulling to a stop a slight chill goes through him. He remembers it as clearly as if it were yesterday, standing by the roadside at night in the rain, 9 years old. His drunken stepfather had kicked him out of their truck 5 miles from home; the bone chilling cold hit him as he stood in the muddy wake of spinning tires and splashing mud. "You worthless little !@##!" he heard the drunken voice and the sound of smashing glass hitting the pavement as a bottle was hurled in his direction from the truck window.

Slowly he makes his way back to the office, speaking to no one, that old sense of helplessness somehow invading his adult world from the past.

How do you think the rest of this man's day will go? Do you think he will smile at the receptionist and joke with his co-workers? During those developmental years, the time when our mind is being hard wired, and the process of building self-esteem is vital, he was torn down.

Now imagine if we can influence our own inner reactions, memories and feelings in such a way that we control that filter? You could re-invent your whole life.

My quest is to find that amazing inner power to de-activate the negative impact of the past and re-wire our automated responses. Not erase memories, but "know" your own value on such a deep level that you are impervious to the emotional impact of such things.

So the quest continues to find new and creative ways for building self-esteem!

Lyca Shan is the founder of Firewalker Enterprises. A passionate author and speaker she focuses on helping others overcome their experiences of hardship and trauma by delivering the message that "Every person is born with the inner strength to rise above their individual circumstances and find happiness within themselves despite their environment." http://www.high-self-esteem.com

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Self Esteem and Physical Activity

By Lyca Shan

Self-esteem and physical activity go hand in hand. Our physiology and state of mind affect each other on an on-going basis. Physical activity is a very important part of developing higher self-esteem. It gives you a sense of control in your life and generates good hormones that help you develop your mental immune system as well.

One of the most intense experiences in my life was doing an actual fire walk. This is a good example of self-esteem and physical activity working together. So here I would like to share that with you though an excerpt from my book "Firewalker."

The Fire Walk: "Think all things possible, and they become so. Only in the barren earth of disbelief, does our life lay fallow..." "Red sparks circled their way up towards the night sky, dancing an odd tempo to the music. Then the clapping began, at first slowly, in rhythm, then faster and faster. The air, fraught with emotion, felt oddly alive. Wheelbarrows of glowing coals were pushed from the fire pits. Crewmembers in black t-shirts carefully moved through the crowd, shoveling the hot embers onto the ground in long rows. The heat pressed upwards and the smell of wood smoke filled the air. I found myself quickly at the front of the line. Nothing but an overwhelming sense of strength flooded through my mind. The red coals spread out in front of me, vibrant in the darkness; I could feel their heat on my face. I stood, feet firmly planted on the ground, and brought my fist down to meet my open palm. I had practiced this move, imagining walls falling before me, oceans parting, and all the power of existence drawing into me in that one moment. A lightness of being filled me, as if I could float over the very earth itself. "Cool moss..." I chanted the mantra aloud as I stepped forward with long, purposeful strides, eyes skyward. My feet hit the coals and I felt as if I were walking on a pathway of crushed velvet. It pressed softly up under my feet, barely warm to the touch. By the time I reached the end it had happened all too quickly. At that moment I became all that existed. Enveloped by the light of the fire-walk, the night sky bore silent witness to the stirring of my spirit. "Firewalker" the word lingered in my mind, mine and not mine. Every door lay unhinged and every path lay open. All that had ever held me back now seemed a dim shadow in a distant land."

This was a very physical experience that helped me rediscover that powerful part of my creativity that can perceive the limitless possibilities around us at all times.

Lyca Shan is the founder of Firewalker Enterprises. A passionate author and speaker she focuses on helping others overcome their experiences of hardship and trauma by delivering the message that "Every person is born with the inner strength to rise above their individual circumstances and find happiness within themselves despite their environment." http://selfesteempower.com

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The power of self esteem

By Lyca Shan

What does the phrase "self-esteem" really mean? We hear the phrase "self-esteem" all the time, but what does that really mean?

Isn't it a pivotal part of how we see and interact with the world around us? If our world is a reflection of us, then self esteem is our paintbrush.

Imagine it's one of those rare days where everything seems to "go right". Have you ever had one of those? You get up rested, you smile at yourself in the mirror, you actually like what you see. You master your domain effortlessly. And people seem friendlier and want to be around you.

Contrast that with the opposite, one of those "Other" days, you slap at the alarm 4 times, finally rolling out of bed 10 minutes late, hanging your head "Oh yuck, another Monday!" You stumble into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee, snap at the kids, kick the dog...well ok not really...but you get the picture.

Have you noticed one of the key elements involved in both experiences is how you are feeling about yourself? About what you are doing with your life, your perception, everything is colored by that all encompassing factor; your self esteem. So high self-esteem is truly one of the most important and valuable commodities you can possess. Some people have been known to raise an eyebrow and act as if that might be a selfish preoccupation. I can only say that if how you treat yourself is a measure of how you treat other people, then we all need to learn to treat ourselves very well indeed!

Why am I so interested in the them of self-esteem? Well as one of my favorite mentors John Di Lemme says: "I believe in the power of story telling:" So here is my story: At the age of eight, I was taken from Boston and transported to a remote compound in Northern Maine where I spent over the next ten years in what I can only refer to as a cult. Freedom of speech, self-expression, free will and independence were forbidden and resulted in harsh punishment, even exile. My self-esteem was crushed by years of systematic and repeated mental and emotional abuse. Yet my internal compass stayed the course and I finally mustered enough courage to leave the cult in 1989 and joined my younger sister who had escaped to Washington where I was briefly reunited with my brother who I hadn't seen in five years.

This was my first time in the real world – I had never even learned how to use a pay phone. I worked a string of odd jobs, putting myself through school where I earned an Associates degree in computer science. Since then I have worked for fortune 500 companies such as AT&T and Nextel Communications as a systems engineer and project manager. Despite financial and professional success, I found that I still wrestled with the debilitating hang over of low self esteem. In an attempt to free myself from this haunting past, I dedicated myself to writing my story and published my autobiography "Firewalker."

The process of expression through writing became a burning drive; it was something that I was driven to do, for myself and for you. At my lowest points in life (there's been more than one), a powerful and imaginative warrior was always there to rescue me. Now I know that warrior was me! Even when I felt without hope, my inner voice still challenged those negative thoughts, fueling me to imagine a different life. Writing became my personal healing process and is now a universal testimony to the dream warrior that lives within every single human being. Through all of this, I developed a deeper understanding of the significance of self-esteem in our lives.

As an author I write about becoming a firewalker, not only because I have literally walked on burning coals (I had the amazing experience of actually doing a fire walk,) but because I had to walk through fire in order to help myself and to show you that there is no tragedy you cannot conquer.

I believe that self esteem is extremely powerful, it affects not only ourselves, but the world we touch as a whole.

A passionate author and speaker, Lyca Shan focuses on helping others overcome their experiences of hardship and trauma by delivering the message that "Every person is born with the inner strength to rise above their individual circumstances and find happiness within themselves despite their environment." Learn how to defend your dreams using mental martial arts! http://selfesteempower.com

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Healthy Self Esteem Allows You To Believe In Yourself And Your Dreams

By Sharon A. Michaels

Self-doubt can destroy self-confidence and chip away at healthy self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem allows you to believe in yourself one hundred percent. Achieving your true potential and living your life's mission, starts by totally believing in yourself and your positive dreams for the future.

A recent study found that people with unhealthy self-esteem consistently distrusted their judgment, felt more hopeless and were afraid of the future. Many in the study also suffered from the nagging fear of incompetence and self-doubt.

You probably know from past experience that whatever you fear most usually becomes a reality in your everyday life. If in your mind the future is distressing, it will probably turn out to be distressing in reality too.

How can you change this? Value and believe in your abilities to keep heading forward, toward a healthy, happy and productive future. If you consistently live with self-doubt, you begin feeling unworthy and undeserving of success and happiness.

Nagging feelings of unworthiness and being undeserving can produce many forms of "self-abuse" including: negative self-talk and many different types of self-sabotaging behaviors. All of this adds up to unhealthy self-esteem.

Your belief in yourself is very personal. Make time to list all your special and unique talents and qualities. Take the time to truly appreciate and nurture all of those special talents. Right now, can you list your top ten talents? Pretty impressive, aren't they? How about making some time every day to appreciate yourself and affirm your many wonderful talents and qualities?

Here's a sure-fire way to enhance self-esteem: Concentrate on your abilities and talents, not your short-comings. Focus on the great things you've accomplished. The perfect person does not exist. If you're consistently striving for perfection you'll more than likely end up experiencing frustration and discouragement.
You can do a great job enhancing self-esteem by fully and totally believing in your ability to succeed.

Value yourself, even if others seem not to believe in you and your dreams. Sometimes the people closest to you just don't have the ability to give the encouragement you often want and need. Draw on your powerful inner motivators to keep going positively forward.

Begin a journal to document all of the powerful and positive things you've accomplished for the day. Before going to bed, write at least one positive thing you've created or accomplish that day. In a few months you'll have so many positive accomplishments that your self-esteem will be growing healthier and your self-confidence will become unshakable.

What have you done today to enhance your self-esteem?

Sharon A. Michaels is an e-mentor to women who want to work for themselves. Sharon has over 20 years of business, speaking and writing experience on issues of ending self-sabotage, living in abundance and wealth and making money in network marketing. Sharon offers books, webinars and tele-conferences on how to give yourself the power to succeed.

Sharon is offering a FREE Tele-conference on Tuesday, January 22, 2008. For more information and to register please go to the SharonIsMyMentor website.
You can learn more about Sharon Michaels at http://SharonIsMyMentor.com
Sharon A. Michaels is also the Editor of the Abundance and Wealth site on BellaOnline.com To read more of Sharon's articles and sign up for her weekly newsletter go to http://abundanceandwealth.bellaonline.com

Copyright Sharon A. Michaels - When using this article please give full credit to Sharon Michaels and use the bio as written above.

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Strategies to Help Boost Your Child's Self Esteem

By Aurelia Williams

Self esteem in an important quality for all children to have. As parents, you can help to boost your child's self esteem by following the steps below:

Model good self-esteem: Express through your actions and words that you respect yourself. Children are wonderful at imitating what they see and hear. Remember, you are your child's best role model.

Create positive routines: Young children need routines to help them to feel secure and competent. Try to set a good schedule for bedtime, rest/naps, meals, etc. Try to keep exceptions to the routine to a minimum and explain any necessary changes if/when they occur.

Allow many opportunities for children to contribute to the family: Give your child a job/chore that only he/she does for the family. Even a small job can have a positive lasting impact on your child's self esteem.

Talk about the world in positive terms: Even though there is negativity in the world, don't dwell on it with your child. When with your child, be sure to point out the many positive things in the world.

Spend time with your child: Remember quality is more important than quantity. Even if you spend just 30 minutes with your child one on one -- playing games, taking walks, having long bedtime chats, or just snuggling in front of the TV, spending time with your child shows them that you value their company.

Give your child choices: Giving your child choices between a reasonable set of options that are already predetermined by you will make them feel empowered.

Aurelia Williams

Aurelia Williams is the mom of four busy children, a Personal Life Coach and the owner of Real Life Solutions, which is an informational site that also offers products, articles and a great newsletter. You can also hear Aurelia daily on the WAHM Talk Radio show, she is the Resident Life Coach.

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When Beauty Tries to Compensate For Self Esteem

By Nick Arrizza, M.D.

We all strive for a beautiful and healthy body. This not only makes our hearts come alive but it keeps us alive and vibrant.

Unfortunately, there are some individuals who strive for beauty for reasons that not only are unhealthy but which in time actually detract from the over all attractiveness of the individual. One of the main unhealthy reasons to try and look beautiful is out of a need for attention or need for validation. Such needs usually stem from a fear of being alone and this is most often associated with low self esteem.

Using beauty to try to compensate for low self esteem is like trying to make your old broken down car attractive with a new paint job in order to get it sold when the engine no longer works. Sooner or later the truth will come out and any perceived gains will be lost. In the process there will also come a great deal of heart ache.

Attractiveness is more than skin deep. It is something that can only emerge from a fully self respecting and self confident human being. All of this can only come when an individual truly loves or esteems themselves in every way. Now many feel this is a distant and unachievable reality so they look for a quik fix from a good make over. A lot of organizations are making a lot of money feeding off of the poor self esteem of individuals.

What price do you pay when you buy into such "easy solutions" and pretend to yourself that this is the road to happiness? Well, what happens is that you go into a state of denial about what you really feel inside and then these feelings need to be kept suppressed. Where do they go then? Well, they actually go "into" your body and turn up sooner or later as some form of emotional or physical illness.

So in the end you're left with a reminder of the problem that you tried so hard to forget. The worst part about all of this is that once the illness stage emerges the tendency is again to find a quik fix in the form of some medication or drug prescribed by a physician. Most medications come with numerous side-effects. Staying on one or more long enough will cause you to likely experience some of these side-effects. The solution? Well, another medication of course, and so on.

Now if you are a young person you may think that this is all sounding a bit too pessimistic. Well my 20 years as a psychiatrist has given me enough experience to know that this is an ever recurring scenario. I'm presenting it to you here so that you will reflect carefully on your situation and make a wise and self respecting decision to take what ever feels like the truly right course for yourself.

Self esteem is something that can be improved more easily than one thinks these days, and in the right way. So I challenge you to strive for the true lasting beauty that can only emerge from a heart that is truly alive and open. It's the only way to be truly attractive!

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is a Key Note Speaker, Author, Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build phyiscal, emotional, mental and spirtual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being. Personal URL: http://www.telecoaching4u.com

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Aging is All About Self Esteem

By Nick Arrizza, M.D.

Many of you probably think that aging is something that is just part of the normal life cycle. If your concept of the life cycle is then something like "you're born, you age and then you die" then it's not surprizing that this is where you are headed. Although you are likely not alone in believing this I would like to challenge you to take a step back from this belief for a moment.

What I'd like you to try now is to repeat the statement to yourself again once, and as you do try not to listen to the words. Instead listen to how the words make you feel inside. I know that this may sound strange or feel a bit callenging but try it anyway. Alternately you can allow someone else to read it to you as you focus on and listen to the feelings it evokes within you.

So again the statement is:

(A) "You're born, you age and then you die".

Now if you are a sensitive individual I can guess that the feelings that emerged with hearing such a statement were not exactly pleasant. For instance did you feel any of the following: saddness, heaviness, frustration, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, a sinking feeling, feeling limited or trapped?

If so, what do you think these feelings are trying to communicate to you about statement(A)? Well, if you consider this long enough, you'll probably agree that these feelings are suggesting to you that that statement is not good for you i.e. it is toxic to you. Just think about it.

When you eat something that isn't good for your body how does it react? Not well, right? That reaction is your body telling you "that's not good for you"! In the same way the feelings you may have had about statement (A) are telling you the same thing about the statement itself.

So you see, your body reacts not only to foods, it also reacts to beliefs that happen to be inside you that are not good for you. A belief is simply a statement that you choose to keep inside of yourself because you think it is going to be useful to you in some way. I'm only guessing that all this may be a new revelation for you. If not, I congratulate you on your wisdom.

Now when you eat something that isn't good for you, what do you do? Well, you make sure that that food never finds its way back inside you, don't you? So my next question is: Why have you persisted in keeping statement (A) inside you if it makes you feel so bad? In other words why do you believe statement (A) is useful to you?

Well you might now say something like, "It's not a question of whether it's good for me or not, it's just a fact, I can't change it". Well this last statement is another belief, isn't it? How does it make you feel? Probably the same way statement (A) made you feel, correct?

So are you beginning to see how many "toxic" beliefs you have inside you? By "toxic", I mean something that makes you feel uncomfortable, uneasy, sick, sad etc.. It's no wonder you're body is deteriorating i.e. aging. After all isn't aging what happens to you when you take something toxic inside yourself and it stays there for a long period and undermines the normal functioning of your body so that it breaks down?

Now that you've followed me so far I want to add that the choice to take something toxic into ones' self is an issue of "Self Esteem"! That is, if you like yourself sufficiently, you are unlikely to choose to take into yourself something that is toxic to you, correct? Whether it's bad food, cigarettes, toxic chemicals, drugs or beliefs, the effects are the same.

You may even be surprized if I said to you that the latter are probably more toxic than all the others.

What's interesting about all of this is that you actually "do" have a choice! If you want to know more about how you can exercise this choice you may wish to visit the web site below in my bio.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is a Key Note Speaker, Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" (available in e-book format at: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/ebook.htm), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Personal URL: http://www.telecoaching4u.com

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10 Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem

By Peter Dobler

Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody’s mind. It doesn’t matter if you actively pursue this goal or you subconsciously working on improving your self esteem. The problem with this is that you really don’t know exactly what you want to improve. You’re acting intuitively on external signals.

Do you know how to improve your self esteem? Probably not. To make it a little bit easier for you and to achieve your goals quicker I put together 10 tips that you can utilize right away.

1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.

2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.

3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.

4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.

5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)

6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.

7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.

8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice…

9. Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.

10. Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.
Next time you meet somebody new look out for these behaviors. Put a mental checkmark on the each of the 10 tips and see how well this person scored. Chances are that the person scored very high if you tent to like her/him. On the contraire the person probably scored low if you don’t seem to connect.

The more you practice the more likely you will create a positive aura which is commonly known as charisma. To step up to become a charismatic personality it takes more than just these 10 tips.

Creating a positive aura will benefit you in every thing you do. You will create a warmer ambience with your family. You will be more successful in your career. Even while trying to meet a partner of the opposite sex you will notice a difference on how people perceive you.

Unfortunately a small article can’t do justice on the wide spectrum of creating a positive aura and developing a charismatic personality. You will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in Race Kale’s new book “The Power of Charisma”.

Peter Dobler is an active real estate investor and a successful home business entrepreneur. Learn how to become a charismatic personality in this new book. http://www.powerofcharismabook.com

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Brighter Smiles Give Self Esteem Big Boost

By Mike Mahon

Your smile is one of the first things people notice about you. Yellow or brown teeth are not the best first impression you want to make. Teeth can become discolored for a number of reasons, the most common being tobacco, coffee, tea, berries, and the natural accumulation of tartar over time. The tooth may also be internally discolored by aging, injury, excessive fluoride, and by certain illnesses and medicines. Although discoloration is natural over time, you can have your teeth whitened safely and professionally for a lot less money than you might expect.

Teeth can be whitened in two ways. A patient can have his or her teeth whitened with Zoom™ Whitening, a whitening treatment that uses laser-light activated whitening gel in a comfortable cosmetic dentistry office. Alternatively, they may choose to whiten their teeth at home with a tooth whitening tray system that uses a whitening chemical, which seeps through your enamel and whitens the tooth itself.

An in-house whitening procedure usually takes between 60 to 90 minutes per visit. The number of visits depends on the degree of discoloration and the patient’s desired outcome. With the take home system, the cosmetic dentist makes an impression for a model of the patient’s teeth. The dentist then fabricates a custom-fitted bleaching tray and prescribes a bleaching gel. The gel is placed in the bleaching tray and the patient wears the tray for up to two hours at his or her own convenience.

“Tooth whitening can have dramatic affects on your appearance, as well as giving your self-esteem a big boost,” says Dr. O’Neil, a cosmetic dentist in Ft. Lauderdale Florida. “Tooth whitening is safe, convenient, and can change the overall appearance of your smile in a matter of hours.”

For more information on teeth whitening and other cosmetic dentistry procedures in the Ft. Lauderdale and Miami, Florida area, please click here.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Mahon

Stress & Self Esteem: Raising One by Lowering the Other

By Tanja Gardner

In our article about Exercise & Stress, we looked at the way these two factors form a self-reinforcing cycle that can work for us. With stress and self-esteem, however, the relationship is negative – both in the technical sense of the words (i.e. as one increases, the other decreases, and vice versa), and in its ultimate result upon the person concerned.

Study after study has found that increasing someone’s self-esteem will reduce the amount of stress they experience. The jury is still out, however, about whether increasing someone’s chronic stress (without giving them time to relax and recharge) will reduce their self-esteem levels. There’s anecdotal evidence that, if you start with high self esteem, stress doesn’t seem to affect it. If your self-esteem levels start out low, however, stress will often reduce them even further.

So what’s going on here? Why does the relationship between stress and self-esteem work the way it does? Part of it is probably just logic and semantics. Self-esteem is the level of regard or value we have for ourselves – and it’s a complex thing. It encompasses how we feel about ourselves, the image we have of ourselves, and what we believe we are and aren’t capable of. If we define stress as ‘our reaction to encountering a situation that requires us to adapt further than we believe we can currently cope with’, it makes sense that anything that increases the level of ‘what we believe we are capable of’ will therefore reduce our stress.

Part of it is also about what we will and won’t accept in our lives. If my self-esteem is high, I’m less likely to just tolerate things I find stressful. Instead, chances are I’ll do something about them – either find out how to fix them or avoid them – simply because I believe I deserve better than to have to suffer them. So from this point of view, the relationship isn’t just a matter of semantics. In a very real way, higher self-esteem *causes* behaviours that reduce stress.

The question then becomes, if we know that raising our self-esteem is going to help us manage our stress, what do we do to boost it? How do we go about building our self-esteem to the level that we’re in the optimum state possible to manage all those daily stressors *before* they start to ‘stress us out’?
As with every self-help topic, there are many theories – some more complex than others. One of the simplest and most ‘user friendly’ models we’ve found was suggested by the Counselling & Mental Health Centre at the University of Texas. This proposes three basic steps for improving self-esteem:

1. Rebutting your Inner Critic – dealing with that inner voice that constantly tells you that you ‘can’t do it’

2. Practicing nurturing yourself – keeping up your own mental and physical resources

3. Getting help from other people – knowing who you can turn to for help when working alone isn’t enough

Although this model suggests sequential steps (i.e. you’d need to deal with your Inner Critic before you began to nurture yourself), there’s no reason why you can’t work on some – or all – of them at the same time. So, for example, you could use the help of a coach while you experimented with different ways of nurturing yourself, without having paid any conscious attention whatsoever to your Inner Critic yet. Because everyone is different, the right combinations and sequence for one person aren’t necessarily going to be the right ones for another.

Irrespective of order, however, we need to understand each step individually if the model is going to be any use in helping us raise self-esteem levels. The remaining articles in this series will explore each step in detail, starting with next issue’s article, which will examine exactly what our Inner Critic is, and some of the most useful ways of dealing with it. Until then, may every day bring you closer to living your optimum life!

Copyright 2005 Tanja Gardner

Optimum Life's Tanja Gardner is a Stress Management Coach and Personal Trainer whose articles on holistic health, relaxation and spirituality have appeared in various media since 1999. Optimum Life is dedicated to providing fitness and stress management services to help clients all over the world achieve their optimum lives. For more information please visit check out http://optimumlife.co.nz/, or contact Tanja on tanja@optimumlife.co.nz.

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High Stress Means Low Self Esteem

By Nick Arrizza, M.D.

Do you have the desire for a stress free life? Most people do. After all isn't this why most people are working so hard, to achieve just that? Sounds like a paradox doesn't it, "I'm working hard to achieve a stress free life"?

Ironically, by the time you think you've gotten there, the "stress" you've endured as a result of all that work has likely taken such a toll on your health that you are not far from the end of your life. So is a stress free life actually a myth, is it even possible? In order to answer this we need to look closely at what we mean by the word "stress".

I will propose a very simple definition that you are welcome to try on for size. By "stress" I mean the emotional, mental, phyiscal and spiritual pain one feels when they are not where they desire to be in any given moment. Now by "where" I do not mean simply a physical location but rather a state. This can be a mental, emotional, physical and/or spiritual state.

Let's say, as an example that the state consists of the following thoughts and emotions:"I really don't like my job but if I leave it to do what I really have a passion for I won't survive". The "where" the person would rather be is doing something that they really have a passion for. Instead the fear of pursuing that seems to block or prevent them from realizing their passion.

Now clearly the person is not "physically" "where" they want to be. If you look a bit more closely however you might also notice that the thoughts and feelings that block that person from being physically where they want to be is also "not where they want to be".

In other words such thoughts/feelings and as "I can't leave this job" or "I'm afraid I will fail" are clearly not pleasant, comforting,freeing or desirable to that person either. It is in fact these "limiting" thoughts/emotions that keep that person in a state of stress and from realizing their passion. With that passion comes a sense of joy, aliveness, invigoration, energy, motivation,creativity, hightened performance, health etc. i.e. a "stress free" life.

Many of you however may believe that such limiting thoughts and emotions are beneficial to you i.e. you probably think that they help keep your life stable, and therefore help you feel safe and secure, and therefore help you experience a stress free life. Don't you?

If this is what you believe then just say it again to yourself and notice the stress level you feel in your body when you say it: "I can't leave my job to pursue my passion because I'm afraid I will fail". Now, did you feel your stress level go up or down. Well if you really don't like your curent job, I think the thought of having to endure it any longer is most likely driving your stress level up, not down.

So, if you follow me so far, living a stress free life is about noticing and releasing anything that keeps you from what you really have a passion for. Most importantly, because these are really the major culprit, it means releasing limiting thoughts and emotions that block you from your passion. It's that simple.

Just as an aside to be doing so also means that you are holding what you want for yourself in the highest esteem. That is you are holding your "SELF" in the highest esteem. What do you think happens to your "self esteem" when you hold you self in the highest esteem? Well naturally it goes up! Try this for your self if you wish.

Nick Arrizza M.D. is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Life and Executive Coach, Speaker, Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual For Personal Transformation" (available in e-book format at: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/ebook.htm) and developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process(TM). He holds international telecoaching sessions and teleconferences on healing mind, body and spirit.

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Create Your Own Self Esteem - Part 2

By Nick Arrizza, M.D.

The good part of this story is that there is now hope to end and effectively reverse the effects of all negative emotions that we individually and collectively experience in our lives. Now we come back to the word reversal I spoke about earlier. The process of choosing to end and to reverse the effects of negative emotions is what I call having Esteem for the Self! By this I mean that as you engage the contents of this book from a sincere and real desire to accept what it has to offer you are choosing to "love" your Self. And loving the Self is really the same as having the highest form of Esteem for the Self, which is You.

Before we move on however, let us briefly summarize what we have learned so far:

- Self Esteem can change and we can change it

- Self Esteem rises when we experience positive emotions

- Self Esteem falls when we experience negative emotions

- Through our decision to choose which emotions we allow into our mind/bodies we can influence the level of our self esteem

- Negative emotions drain our vital life energy

- Positive emotions re-infuse us with vital life energy

- We can enhance Self-Esteem by having Esteem for one's Self

- Having Esteem for the Self can have significant positive effects on one's health and well being

Having noted these points, one might ask why it is that their self-esteem is always on the low end? Well it's often because they are in the habit of choosing to invite negative emotions into their life probably without even realizing it or realizing their effect. If this is so, then why aren't we in the habit of inviting positive emotions rather than negative emotions into our lives?

It's likely that the negative emotions set up in you a feeling that change is impossible i.e. pessimism which is also a negative mind set. If we were to use the analogy of a thermostat we could say that our temperature setting is set on low. Conversely, some people seem to naturally have a temperature setting that is set higher than others; that is they seem to generally be in good spirits and think and feel good about themselves. What is it that has made these people different

The extent to which we knowingly choose to invite, or are unknowingly in the habit of inviting, negative emotions into our lives depends on a number of factors:

- Acquired beliefs that such emotions are useful in some way

- Acquired beliefs that such emotions are necessary in daily life

- Acquired beliefs that it is normal to allow oneself to experience such emotions

- Acquired beliefs that such emotions are part of what it means to be a normal human being

- A lack of awareness of the deleterious impact of such emotions on one's life at all levels: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual

In other words, if you knowingly or unknowingly choose to believe that negative emotions (i.e. anger, worry, guilt, fear of being alone, unworthiness, etc) are somehow useful to you, necessary for you, a normal human experience and what it means to be human then you are more likely to allow them to intrude into your life.

As we said above, however, whenever you allow a negative emotion in it automatically brings your self-esteem and your vital energy down. Try it for yourself.

Additionally, if you do not recognize the deleterious impact that a negative emotion is having on your self-esteem, your energy level and your life then you are less likely to want to do something about it. This awareness, as you will learn, throughout this book, is so important that it alone can determine the overall level of self-esteem that you will have day to day.

I will assume that because you are reading this book that you already have some awareness of the negative effects that negative emotions have on you. Later on you will have many opportunities to expand this awareness thereby giving you greater mastery over your internal emotional environment

(To read more about how you can free yourself of negativity and significantly boost your Self Esteem visit the e-book link below)

Nick Arrizza M.D. is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Researcher, Speaker, developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process(TM), Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Maual for Personal Transformation" (available in e-book format at: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/ebook.htm). He holds international telecoaching and teleconference sessions on healing mind, body and spirit.

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