Building Employee Self Esteem for Bottom Line Results

By Bob Urichuck

Self esteem is a sense of worth, not only in inner confidence and self-respect, but also outwardly in the actions one takes towards contributing to the Bottom Line.

Employee recognition is ranked the number one motivating factor when it comes to employee motivation in the workplace. If you want to maintain motivated employees, and encourage others to do better, recognizing them will help build their self esteem, while maintaining a loyal and motivated employee.

You may find it hard to believe, but recognition is the most powerful employee motivator of all because it builds one's self-esteem. Research has shown that there is a stronger need in society today for recognition (building of one's self-esteem) than there is for sex and money. Now, that says something about building self esteem and employee motivation.

Why is building self-esteem through recognition so important?

When someone gives you a compliment or recognizes you for doing something, how do you feel? Imagine, for a moment, being complimented by all your family, friends, staff and customers all day, every day. What would it do to your self-esteem, your self confidence and your self respect, and ultimately your self-worth - the bottom line?

Building self-esteem through recognition is positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement of actions gets those actions repeated. Recognition and praise reinforces our beliefs about ourselves and helps make us think we are better than we thought we were. That is how to build employee self-esteem.

Employee motivation is positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcements is what builds our self-esteem. Our self-esteem is the way we see and feel about ourselves either internally, through our own beliefs, or externally through what we accept as the beliefs of others.

If we feel good about ourselves and we believe others feel good about us, we perform better than we would when we see the opposite side of the coin. Employee self esteem starts from external recognition and when accepted as being sincere it builds self esteem from within, which then translates into external actions leading to bottom line results.

People perform in a manner that is consistent with how they see themselves conceptually. So, the key is to help people build their self-esteem. That is the foundation of employee retention motivation and loyalty.

Unlike money which is an external motivator and never lasting, ones self- esteem is internal, and internal motivation is everlasting. In order to build a healthy self-esteem one needs recognition and praise, both from one's self and from others.

You can help build someone's self-esteem and self-motivation through recognition, but also through advancement and responsibility where that person can obtain a sense of achievement and personal growth.

The problem is that in today's society we are deprived of positive feedback. Compliments, recognition and praise are not part of our day-to-day culture. For some reason, many people find it difficult to give compliments, recognition and praise. This does nothing for one's self esteem.

My assumption is that it is hard to give something you don't have to give. How can you give someone else a compliment if you can't compliment yourself first? This goes back to our own self esteem. We must first feel good about ourselves, and tell ourselves that, before we can feel good about somebody else, and tell them that. It's a vicious circle, but it all starts within each of us. How do you feel about your own self worth - your self-esteem?

Another problem is, we live in a society that has influenced us more to look for the things people do wrong, instead of the things they do right. How do you think it impacts someone's self esteem if they are always recognized for the things they do wrong? Can you see them looking for the good in others and praising them accordingly? More likely they will find something to criticize in others.

We, as society, are to blame for this sort of behavior. It is up to each of us to change our self esteem from the inside - out.

These same influences have had an impact in our self-talk too. We tend to criticize ourselves for the things we do wrong. But how often do we praise ourselves for the things we do right?

Let's tap ourselves on the back for the good that we do. The more we do it to ourselves, the more our self esteem grows and the more our self esteem grows, the more confident we feel, which in turn helps us to give more confidence and praise to others. Building our own self esteem allows us to then give growth to the self esteem of others.

You are the leader and you must set the example by demonstrating the appropriate behavior. The appropriate behavior that we are talking about here is recognition and praise to yourself first and then to your employees. The bottom line is, for you as a leader, to build employee self esteem

Bob Urichuck is an International Speaker, Trainer and Best-Selling Author. Learn personally from Bob in the areas of Sales, Motivation, Leadership and Team Skills. Bob presents a series of great ideas and strategies with combination of facts, humor, and practical concept in a high-energy and self-discovery process that you can apply right away to achieve results. Subscribe to Bob's Free Newsletter, worth $297, visit http://www.BobU.com Now!

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Four steps to a new approach of enhancing self-esteem.

By Emmanuel Segui

You have the power to run your own thoughts and to decide to increase the level of your self-esteem. Here is a new approach on self-esteem using the kind of states and emotions you experience every day: acceptation, appreciation and esteem. You will use these feelings or states of mind to increase your level of self- esteem whenever you want.

Practicing these four steps to enhance your self esteem will change the way you see yourself and the way you feel about yourself.

1. A state of acceptation. First, access an experience of acceptation of an outside event, for example a traffic jam or the weather. It is something you may not necessary like but you can accept it. Feel the emotion and notice your posture, your sensations and how you look. What are you thinking and how are you thinking it? Notice the tension in your muscles. Are you relaxed?

You will now amplify this state and emotion inside of you until it reaches 8 or 9 on a scale from 1 to 10. Let the feeling of acceptance build and make an anchor by touching your left wrist, or whatever part of your body that seems ok for you.

2. A state of appreciation. Secondly, access an experience of appreciation for something outside of you, for example your baby, a sunset or your health. In the same way, notice your posture and your sensations in your hands head and body? Let this feeling of appreciation build as well and make an anchor by touching the same part of your body as in step 1.

3. A state of esteem. Third, access an experience of esteem of something marvel about, someone you admire, something you honour and esteem highly. Notice your posture and the sensations in your body. What do you look like when you are standing in awe? How is your breathing? Let this feeling of esteem/awe build as well and make an anchor by touching the same part of your body as in step 1.

4. Apply to Self and Your Life. Now, you're going to think about yourself and touch the part of the body you selected in step 1. And as the process of "esteeming yourself" continues, notice how your thoughts and emotions change about yourself because you can now easily feel appreciation for your skills and abilities; you can feel acceptance about those things in your life that you may not like; you can feel esteem for yourself as a human being.

Finally, every time you are tempted to feel critical of yourself, you can do this! It's up to you!

The fact is that you're important and it's like the world tries to pull you down by saying "you're not enough good…thin enough…smart enough…" The fact is that you are somebody and you have value. Your contribution to the world is important. This exercise helps you so you know it emotionally and not just intellectually.

Learn proven techniques to master your life and go for your dreams. Stop living in your dreams and feel depressed or angry but discover now the top 5 secrets that EVERY highly successful person will teach you on how to turn your dreams into reality and create the life you want. Check out at http://www.vision-to-action.com/5secrets

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Dare to Say No and Not Feel Guilty

By Luz Aguirrebena

Are you one of those people who have trouble saying no and when you actually dare to pronounce the word, feel guilty?

Do you feel resentful to yourself and others because not being able to say no stresses you out due to the fact that you are doing things you don't want to do?

Are you afraid that if you say no people will not love you any more?

Well, you are not alone. Many people have this problem. and it is interfering in their life in a negative manner. They don't have enough time for themselves. How are they going to focus in anything and succeed? The truth of the matter is that assertiveness has a lot to do with the ability to say no. Success also. Mark my words.

So, why is it that you can't say no?

The main reason is because you have data in your hard drive that says something like this: If I say no, people will not love me any more. My time is not so important as other people's time. I have to be available all the time. The guilt of saying no consumes me.

I have news for you. The same way your computer has useless data to be deleted, you can delete that message in you head. You only have to decide you don't want to go through the pain and consequences of saying yes all the time any more. It's a choice.

The idea is to replace the data with new data. One that says something like this: It's OK to say no. My time is as valuable as other people' time. I don't have to be available all the time. I deserve to be available to myself, and the things I really want to do. When I say no people love me and respect me. Because I am respecting myself. I don't have to feel guilty for choosing myself. I deserve it.

Actually, the problem with not being able to say no, is that you attract demanding people who want more, and are never satisfied. It never is going to be enough. It's a neverending story. You are not doing any favor to them nor to you. You are enabling them to perpetrate the pattern of depending on you, blocking their own resources.

Now, when you give yourself permission to change the pattern of behavior, you have to go one step at the time.

The first time you cross the barrier of fear of saying no, you will be scared to death, but you will stand still with your brand new conviction that you are as important as other people. Once you are on the other side of that barrier you will feel good because you chose yourself this time. If the other person tries to run a guilt trip on you, you have to stand firm, even though it is difficult. Then you'll feel even better. They might be upset in the beginning. You are changing on them, how dare you, they didn't expect it. You can't blame them. They will resist for a while, but if you remain firm in your action, in the long run they will have a sense of relief. And guess what, they will respect you.

If it doesn't work that way and you lose the relationship, you are losing them, not yourself. There is a big difference. You don't need that kind of relationship. You will start attracting people who love you for who you are, not for the things you do for them.

Keep doing it, the barrier of fear gets smaller every time. After a while, guess what, it will feel pretty good inside.

Luz

http://soulhangout.net is a soul activists resource. A personal development blog, using conversation and storytelling to help you align your thoughts. Come visit and bring your soul. We'll hang out. There is also a Soul Hang Out in Spanish http://soulhangout.net/spanish if you are interested.

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Building Your Self Esteem and Confidence is Key to Self Improvement and Development

By Leon Lioe

In self improvement, we talk a lot about self esteem, the ability to stay calm, composed and confident when facing tough challenges. Basically, self esteem is the pillars that support your self improvement and development. So, if you view self improvement as a table, self esteem is the table's legs. They got to be strong to support the table.

If we have a low self esteem, our confidence will tumble and we won't be able to face daily challenges. Our self esteem is like a dash board, and hence a dart pin can land on it any time without a warning. If we've low self esteem, a small dart pin can just destroy our entire self confidence. That's why building a strong self esteem is critical to your self development.

Following are some tips you may find useful in helping you to harness your self esteem.

1. Learn to interact with positive people. Do not shy away from people, learn how to socialize and interact with people. Overcome your shyness, we only live once in this world, so there is nothing to be ashamed of. The more you socialize and interact with people around you, the more comfortable you will become, and your self esteem will build up slowly.

2. Avoid negative work environment. Stay away from a work environment that promotes unhealthy competition, a dog-eats-dog and back-stabbing work culture where everybody is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. Your self esteem will be destroyed when no one appreciate your efforts and contributions. If you feel that the company you're working right now has such environment, look for a new job and get out from there as soon as you can.

3. Acknowledge your past mistakes and learn from the experiences. It's okay to cry when we experience pain. But don't let pain transform itself into FEAR. There is a time to cry from your misfortune and there is a time to recover. Do not dwell on your problems, learn from it, shake it off and move on. If you dwell on a problem for too long, it might grab you by the tail, swing you around and totally destroy your self esteem. Don't let that happens to you. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

4. Avoid negative view and be optimistic. Always try to see the positive part of any problem first. Wish for the best things in life and believe that every challenge or problem you experience is for the benefit of you to improve. Don't wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

5. Think positively. Always think about the good qualities and abilities in you. Focus on your strengths instead of weaknesses. Everything starts from your mind, if you think you can then you can and vice versa. Make positive thinking becomes your second habit and your self esteem will build up in no time.

6. Do not worry about the future or things that haven't occurred. Just strive to do your best and do the right things today and tomorrow will take care of itself.

7. If you have a problem, do not avoid or pretend that it doesn't exist. Face your problem and deal with it. Get help from family members or closed friends if necessary. Share with them openly about the problem you're facing and ask for help. You will be amazed that people are generally willing to help, sometimes all you need to do is just ASK. Families and friends can help boost your self esteem and motivate you to face your problem.

When we develop self esteem, we take control of our life mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement and self development, positive attitude, and self determination.

More interesting articles on building self esteem confidence are available at our self improvement tips blog.

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Increase Your Self-Esteem - Be More Dynamic by Discovering Your Fashion Personality Type

By Chloe Taylor Brown

Have you ever spent any quality time considering your Fashion Personality Type and how this plays a big part in your lifestyle?

Darling, knowing your clothing and fashion personality type increases your self-assurance about the clothes you do buy and your self-confidence, and can solve so many fashion slip-ups; and, besides that, it will help you to save your precious time and priceless energy by keeping you out of stores that have nothing to do with your authentic image or the real you.

What is more valuable to you, your time or your energy?

Check out the 10 Clothing and Fashion Personality Types you can take advantage of to start Perfecting Your Authentic Image today.

Avant Garde - high fashion at best or worst. At best, it can include chic, one-of-a-kind pieces from your favorite designer's custom-made collections.

Bohemian - in its true essence a counter-culture to real fashion. Today it is an eclectic unstructured chic look.

Casual - at its best is youthful, easy-going, simple and unpretentious, but with a flair.

Classic - chic, yet simple and feminine; the designs and styles have a timeless appeal and can be worn year after year.

Conservative - modest, reserved, soft and feminine, with a tendency to lean toward simple flowing lines with rounded curves.

Country & Western - wild and strong, American values, rugged individualism, comfort, denim, rhinestones and fringes.

Dramatic - bold, confident, striking and chic; a risk taker who goes for crisp tailored ensembles. You do not like to mix and match.

Flirtatious - feminine, romantic, seductive and girlie, easy flowing fabrics that float and wrap around the body.

Glamorous - timeless and beautiful, confident, resilient, poised and polished, tasteful, stylish and high end.

Rebellious - a feminine maverick who goes for shock appeal, using clothes to make a bold and edgy statement that oozes controversy or sexuality, or both.

Most of us are multi-dimensional when it comes to how we like to dress and what we feel good wearing. So pay attention to what you wear most of the time and how you feel wearing those pieces or outfits. Also, notice what your family and friends tell you fit you well and what looks good on you. Who knows, this particular clothing type may represent your fashion personality type and bring out the best in you.

Tell me about a time you wore something and you felt absolutely amazing wearing it and everyone told you how great you looked. I would be very interested in listening, and hearing.

Love to you,

Chloe Taylor Brown

Chloe Taylor Brown is the president of Total Image Enhancement, a lifestyle specialist and business development firm in Atlanta, Georgia--USA. She is an image enhancement specialist, life by design POWER coach, author, and speaker. Her secret formula is her gift of combining personal experiences with cutting-edge techniques and systems to deliver powerful keynotes, presentations and workshops that get people out of their head and into their life.

As an international fashion model Chloe worked for Armani, Versace, Escada, Revlon products and others. Today she provides one-on-one POWER coaching to executives, entertainers and socialites, and individuals in transition; and to organizations like The Home Depot, Price Waterhouse Coopers, Avon Corporation and Georgia Institute of Technology. She is the author of Getting Ready Chloe-Style: Perfecting Your Authentic Image and Determine Your Ideal: Creating a Life of Fulfillment and Prosperity. She is also the creator of the National Initiative for Girls on Body Image and Self-Esteem, a program that inspires and empowers girls-middle school through college, to recognize their intrinsic value to society and to the world. To learn more about Chloe Taylor Brown and Total Image Enhancement please visit http://totalimageenhancement.com

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The Secrets of How To Increase Self Esteem

By Brian Mcpherson

Take this simple test to see if you have problems with low self esteem.

1) Do you think that other people have better clothes, jobs, cars, or relationships than you do? 2) When someone tells you they love your outfit, do you say to yourself "Yeah Right!"? 3) Do you have problems giving your opinion even when it is asked for, fearing that people will think whatever you say is stupid?

Have you ever feared doing something because you felt you weren't good enough? Do you often dismiss compliments or consider a success of yours no big deal. Have you decided not to ask someone on a date or accept a date because you felt they were "too good looking" or "out of your league"?

These are definite signs of low self esteem. Negative comments from your parents, authority figures and peers while you were growing up are all a big cause of low self esteem. These messages are accepted at a young age and replay in your subconscious mind.

There are many, many programs that claim to be effective at self esteem improving...and many are. I will discuss what I feel the most effective programs have in common to increase self esteem.

The most effective programs for self esteem improving teach you how to let go and release the subconscious feelings and programs the cause low self esteem in the first place.

You see, you came into this world perfect, absolutely perfect. And then while you were young, the criticism piled up as did the negative suggestions etc...or, maybe none of this happen to you but you interpreted your parent's actions toward you in a negative way.

These feelings and thoughts, once accepted by your subconscious mind, they begin to color everything you do and cover up your perfection much like dust on a beautiful, luxury table.

Once you these feelings go, it is just like wiping the dust off the table...your perfection will begin to shine.

Because your subconscious thoughts and feelings cause low self esteem, I don't feel that self esteem affirmations, which are a popular recommendation, work.

It is just like putting fresh apples on top of rotten apples in a bucket...all of the apples will become rotten. In this case, the affirmations will just get rejected.

You can't change a thought or belief in your subconscious by brute force or by repeating affirmations.

Affirmations will increase self esteem if you don't have any idea that is counter to it in your subconscious.

I really feel that the best methods of increasing self esteem are the methods that release the garbage in your subconscious mind.

Low self esteem colors every thing we do from the way we look, feel, and appear to others. That is why self esteem and obesity are almost always linked together.

So the best way to increase self esteem is to let go of the feelings that cause it...and when you do all areas of your life will improve simultaneously and you will notice your self esteem improving dramatically.

I really hope you enjoyed this article. Remember, you are perfect. Absolutely perfect. It is those subconscious thoughts and feelings that are covering up your perfection...and they are very easy to let go of when you know how.

-Brian

For more information and a FREE Report to what I feel are the best ways to Increase Self Esteem, please visit http://Sedona-Method-Review.com

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5 Tips For Taking Complete C

By K Baker

In our society, it's easy to fall into the thinking that it's just not our fault. From the quality of our finances to our personal relationships to our problems at work - we want to believe that it's not us causes the problem. It's our spouse or children. It's because our parents raised us this way. It's because our ex left us or because our boss is too demanding. It's because our friends just don't understand.

The problem with this line of thinking is that it places you squarely in the role of the victim. If everything is happening to you, that means you don't have control over the situation. It's not your fault - it's everyone else's fault. However, as long as you continue to believe this, you will never live the life you dream of.

The truth is that each of us has control over ourselves. We may not have control over everything that happens to us - and we rarely have control over other people. But we do have control over our thoughts, emotions and actions.

No one forces us to react defensively to our boss. No one forces us to pull away from our spouse or yell at our kids. No one forces us to blow our latest paycheck on a weekend shopping spree or today's object of our desire. We choose to take each of these actions.

When you accept this, your life changes dramatically and you start empowering yourself.

Think of it this way - no one can live your life for you. Sure, some will try. Your parents may have always wanted you to be a doctor or lawyer - so you did. Your spouse may believe that you should do the housekeeping - so you do. Your friends may believe that you should act a certain way - so you do.

But in each of these cases, you're giving in and agreeing to go along with them. Perhaps you do it because you want their approval. Perhaps you do it because you fear doing otherwise. Yet in each case, you make the decision to act in accordance with their beliefs about you.

It doesn't have to be this way. You can step up and make decisions for yourself despite what others want for you. It's your life - start to shape it as you would like for it to be.

So how can you more fully take responsibility for your life? Here are a few ways:

1) Take time for reflection each day. Try meditating or sitting quietly and calming your mind. What is that little voice inside your head saying to you?

2) Eliminate blame. Look for situations where you're likely to complain about your boss, parents, kids, etc. Are you blaming them for preventing you from doing something? If so, how can you rephrase the statement so that you take responsibility?

3) Change your reaction. When you find yourself about to mention how someone else "makes you so mad," ask yourself why you are reacting in that way. You may not be able to control the other person, but you don't have to get so worked up. What is really at the heart of the matter? Do you feel slighted, hurt or rejected? Look at your own emotions and think about the ways you can make yourself feel better.

4) Examine your life. What parts of your life do you wish you could change? Where do you feel powerless or not in control? These are often places where you may not be taking responsibility for your life or accepting the reality of your situation.

5) Take action. What can you do right now to make yourself feel in control of your life? What is it that you want? How can you take a small step right now to move closer towards that goal?

Yes, initially, taking responsibility can be scary, but it's also empowering. Often when we feel fear, it's because we're reaching outside our comfort zone to uncharted territory. And when we do that, we give ourselves the opportunity to grow.

Krista Baker is founder of SecretLoa.com, which discusses the history and philosophy behind The Secret and the Law of Attraction. Receive a free ebook, mp3, and ecourse on creating the life you've always wanted.

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I Always Have to Be Right!

By Stephanie Cooke

We have all had times when we know we are right but others have disagreed with us. Sometimes we will choose to challenge this, but other times we may simply agree to disagree in order to keep the peace; we don't usually attach much importance to this. For some people though, the need to be right is all consuming, and it can be impossible for them to back down if their views are challenged. I have a friend who's need to be right is actually quite comical- even when she's been proved to be wrong, she will invent the most way out scenarios when what she said may possibly be right, and claim that this was what she meant anyway! Another friend will insist on using Google after a disagreement over something involving facts to prove that she was right.

These people are often quite dominant in social situations. They can come across as confident, or even arrogant, but underneath this they are often very insecure people. They need to be right and to have this recognised as it validates their sense of self worth and sense of control. They can act very aggressively when this sense of control is threatened, as everything they hold an opinion on is directly linked to their self concept. This means that they can often lose perspective and 'blow up' over the most seemingly trivial things if challenged. It is also possible that they could also be genuinely unaware of the extent of the problem. However, it can be very emotionally draining to be around people like this, and others may actually avoid discussing certain subjects with them to reduce the risks of triggering this behaviour.

So- what if this sounds like somebody close to you? How do you deal with their need to be right at all times? Remember that they are actually very insecure people, who are afraid of being ridiculed or judged in any way. You will have to gain their trust; once they know that you are not going to judge them they will find it a lot easier to back down when they are wrong.

Even if you disagree with what they have said, still validate it in some way rather then just bluntly telling them that they are wrong. Make them aware that you think that what they have said is valid, but that there are also other points of view.

But- what if it's you who always has to be right? Try to realise that there is nothing bad about being wrong occasionally. If you realise you are wrong, admit it and stop trying to force your point. Listen to what others have to say and acknowledge their views. Accept that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and in some instances their may be no right or wrong. If it is appropriate, apologise.

If you feel comfortable, ask others to let you know when you have crossed the threshold from just stating your opinion to needing to be right. You will probably find that you earn a lot more respect through trying to correct your problems, which in turn could increase your sense of self worth and could eventually remove the underlying need to be right.

It may also be an idea to work on your self esteem to replace the underlying feelings of insecurity and poor self worth. You should find that once you start to feel better on the inside, you will project this on the outside. Remember, it's a lot more important to be happy than right all the time!

Find more free articles at http://www.self-development-online.com - Your complete resource to assist you in your quest for self development and living the life you want. Visit us for free articles, resources and ebooks.

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The Secret of Breaking the Chains of Low Self-Esteem

By Hope Wilbanks

Do you struggle every single day with low self-esteem issues? Is it difficult for you to believe good things about yourself? I'm going to give you the secret for breaking those chains of low self-esteem.

Here's the secret: Be nice to yourself.

Regardless of the underlying factor of your poor self-esteem, you have the power to change this yourself. In fact, you are the only person who can change it. You can't rely or depend on someone else to make you feel better.

The true secret and key to raising your esteem is to begin by believing in yourself.

Start by using positive affirmations every day. Stop the negative inner chatter with these uplifting personal statements.

Next, do something nice for yourself every now and then. Set a special date just to pamper yourself. Make a date with a friend for some one-on-one time. Do something extra special just for you.

It is important to keep in mind that this is not an overnight process. It took a long time for your esteem and self worth to be crushed, so you can't expect for it to be rebuilt in a short amount of time. However, diligence on your part will enable you to get back on your feet quicker.

Finally, enlist the help of trusted friends and family. Perhaps the most difficult habit to break is being nice to yourself. Have your friends and family to kindly point out when you are being mean to yourself. Sometimes you'll do it without even realizing you're begin negative towards yourself.

You can break the chains of low self-esteem. Start today and be a happier person!

Read more about low self-esteem at http://www.nurturedsoul.com/categoy/self-esteem

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Easy To Follow Tips For Increased Self Esteem

By Michael Mcgrath

Everyone one of us knows the important role that self confidence plays in our lives. Without a good measure of confidence in ourselves we would find it difficult to interact in social, business or even personal situations. Every one of us has some degree of confidence in ourselves whether we realize it or not. Without confidence you would not survive in the world! For example you must have enough faith that you can clothe, feed and shelter yourself. However how many of us take a good look at the state of our self esteem? If you take the time to increase your self esteem you will find that your self confidence increases naturally. Build a solid strong self-image, with high self-esteem and you will feel invincible!

Increasing your self-esteem and rebuilding your self image to reflect the person you want to be and the type of person who is already living the life you desire will lead to more happiness, success and confidence. So what is self-esteem and how can you develop your own?

Well, self-esteem is simply a word that is used to describe how you feel about yourself. It represents your own self worth and reflects your internal beliefs about yourself and your place in the world.

Your self-esteem is the bedrock of your self-image and it is your self-image that you use, unconsciously, as a guide to your own abilities - what you think you can and cannot achieve. Your self-image is also the blue-print from which you build your life. If you have a negative or unrealistically negative image of yourself and your abilities then your life will never work the way you wish it to regardless of how hard you try to change it!

As your self image is how you see yourself then this determines how you think, act and react to the world around you. It influences your behaviour and thus it is directly responsible for the results you get in life. Having low self-esteem usually leads to a victim type self-image where you feel like it is impossible for you to succeed.

If you have high self-esteem your self-image will be very positive and you will feel like you can handle any problem and overcome any obstacle. You feel like you will succeed no matter what life throws at you. Optimism will be a natural automatic by-product.

When you have a strong sense of self worth and high self-esteem you tend to know where you are going in life. It is a fact that men and women who have high self-esteem know what they want from life. They are generally much more goal-orientated than others. These people exude confidence and optimism because they believe that no matter what obstacles they encounter they will reach their goal if they keep going and don't give-up!

Having high self-esteem allows you to think clearly and avoid emotional thinking and this leads to the gaining the skill of persistence. It allows you to act in circumstances from a clear mental view point instead of reacting. You can thus stay more focused on any given situation because your thought processes are not bogged down in unnecessary worry. You can think more clearly and therefore make decisions based on evidence and not imaginary scenarios driven by fear. People with low self-esteem usually just give-up when faced with challenges because they believe they cannot meet them.

People with high self-esteem are more centered in the moment. Their thoughts are not in the past or focused on the distant future. By feeling secure, safe and loving they keep their focus in the present and thus enjoy their experiences much more. Those with low-self-esteem find it hard to enjoy what they are doing because their thoughts dwell on the past, future potential failures and the worry of how other people perceive them. Having a solid belief in yourself and your abilities also gives you the opportunity to look at your weaknesses and improve yourself because you are able to see these as challenges to overcome rather than as a criticisms or affirmations of your faults.

In order to achieve high self-esteem you must first be willing to accept yourself as you are. Stop judging yourself and especially stop judging the past. The key is to live in the moment.

Take inventory of your strengths. Congratulate yourself on your abilities and the skills you have developed on your journey through life. Accept that you have made mistakes, everyone makes them. Accept that you have learned valuable lessons from things that you believe you have done wrong. Every action you have ever taken has helped to develop the person you are today and the knowledge you gained from each experience will help to create the person you intend to be tomorrow. Every experience you have is moving you towards your desires!

Recall your success and dwell on them for a moment internally. There is no need to be egotistical about this. Just congratulate yourself on a job well done and know that you can replicate these successes again and again! Also think about what you want to gain in life. Set yourself some goals. If it seems like they are too far out of reach then set smaller goals first that will lead you closer to your ultimate desires.

Having doubts about your ability to achieve your goals can be used to your advantage. Write down, in a point by point list, all the reason you believe you cannot achieve your goals. Then take each one and develop a plan to overcome each obstacle. An example would be if you wanted a better paying job and set a goal to change your career yet you think that you do not have the necessary experience or qualifications to achieve this. In order to overcome these negative beliefs you must create a plan to gain the experience and/or qualifications you feel you need. Perhaps setting a goal to return to night school or volunteer to gain more experience would address these issues. In such a case you would take inventory of your current circumstances and determine how best you could gain what you needed.

Another essential skill you need to develop is the use of positive self-talk. Watch how you speak to yourself internally and how you speak about yourself to others. Both are forms of affirmations which are really commands you are giving to your subconscious mind. You must reprogram your mind for success. Write your goal down, in the present tense, as though you were telling someone else exactly how your life is now. Read the statement every morning and every night. Try self-hypnosis as a form of positive mental brain-washing. Use it to program your subconscious mind for success.

In this way you will increase your belief in yourself, your abilities and your future and your self-esteem will sky-rocket!

For reviews of the best Hypnosis products we tested go to http://hypnosis.personal-development.info and find out what really works! . Alternatively go to http://www.angelfire.com/wizard2/release/hypnosis.html and read the free reviews of the best Self Hypnosis products we tested because we find out what works so you don't have to!

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What is Self Esteem?

By Ian Pennington

Self esteem is termed as the importance to the outside world. It is the form of the spiritual estate. Self esteem is the spiritual infrastructure by which the spiritual forces of the person develop. Self esteem is the urge, particular creative energy and an attribute that can be wither positive or negative. The positive energy increases the self esteem and therefore encourages the positive development. On the other hand the negative energy decreases the self esteem and in regard with this the negative development arises.

It is level of the self esteem by which the person is appreciated and stands in the external world. Only because of this do we react and act. We also appreciate the others at this level. The self esteem is considered as to be the sense of living happy with your own character and also the regardless abilities of the opinion of the other people's. Some times the level of our self esteem is higher than subjective self esteem. We can also say that the person's perceived self-worth is appreciably lower than self esteem.

The self worth is the casual factor for determining the level of self esteem. The level of the person's true self esteem is steady. There are many of the people who want to raise their level of the self esteem. The question arises that why they want to do so? Well there are many answers for it as they want to be more secures, or feel confident. But keep in mind that the self esteem is everything that you want to do with your feelings.

Self esteem is termed as the self worth. This is the power that how you recognize yourself, and is the sense of your worth. If you recognizer yourself as the very successful person and you also feels that you deserve to be successful than there is good self esteem in you. But if you think that you are failure than the person requires learning the techniques of the self esteem.

Self esteem is the feeling of your worth. You should know this as you will require using the senses for the techniques for raising the power of the self esteem in yourself. When you will be able to sense the regions which are hindering the self confidence in you than you will be able to see the problem clearly. Basically self-esteem means:

You should feel good both in both the body and mind.
Confident in what you are doing
Having the positive attitude
To give importance to yourself
Be deserving of the love and happiness

Ian Pennington is an accomplished niche website developer and author. To learn more about self esteem, please visit Helping Others Thru Self Improvement for current articles and discussions.

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Self Esteem, Community Service and Empowerment - Part 2

By H. Veronika Gaia

In Part 1 of this article, I presented the rationale and keys for success to create a school community service program. As stated, organizing community service projects allows students to participate in the group process of cooperative learning, conflict resolution, critical thinking and problem solving. Students enhance self esteem through experience. Consequently, self esteem becomes earned esteem. Part 2 is a description of the two components of a successful community service program.

Two components of a successful community service program

• One component of the program could be integrated into the school day. Examples of successful community service projects integrated into the school day are trips to a soup kitchen, working with a kindertime program for pre-school children and collections for needy causes. These could be scheduled monthly by teams or groups of classrooms.

• There could also be an after-school component of the program that would involve a weekly commitment by students for a specified number of months.

Members who join the after-school program would divide into several groups. The individual groups would have brainstorming sessions concerning community service project selections that would allow students to practice interpersonal skills and build relationships.

1. Service project ideas are limitless and depend on the creativity and interests of the groups.
2. Each group designs its own year-long program and the organization experience provides a learning that involves decision-making skills, communication skills and the process of working within a system.
3. Each group creates its own name and selects four to six community service projects to be completed during the school year after school.
4. Chosen group names would reflect the community service mission for individual groups and could be an acronym. Following are examples of actual names used by middle school students:
• P.R.O. (People Reaching Out)
• S.U.N.S.H.I.N.E. (Students Unite Nations)
• C.A.R.S (Caring and Respectful Students)
• S.M.I.L.E. (Students Making Individuals Laugh Everyday)
• H.O.P.S.C.O.T.C.H. (Helping Other People Simply Cause Our Touch Can Heal)
Develop partnerships with the community. In my personal situation, we developed an on-going working relationship with a nursing home, a center for mentally-challenged adults, a day care center, a pre-school program, a community pediatrics health center and a soup kitchen.

The lesson of responsible active citizenship is the intention of all the community service project experiences and ideas create change becomes the principle of active citizenship. Let your students be your heroes. Your young student activists can make a difference in our world. I share this as a proud teacher who has observed dedicated young people who are remarkable as role models for their peers, their teachers, their families and their community.


About the author: H. Veronika Gaia is a teacher, writer and nature photographer. She believes that every person can make a difference in our world. PeacemakersArt.com provides opportunities for you to make a contribution by purchasing with a purpose. Veronika sells inspirational nature photography art as greeting cards, motivational posters and fine art prints with peaceful intentions for self awareness, human potential and community service. Please visit her website at http://www.PeacemakersArt.com/ .

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Adult Self Esteem

By Brenda McCreight

Most of us do our best to make sure that our children feel good about themselves but often, as adults, we tend to overlook that in ourselves. We may have started in life with high self-esteem, but every day life can erode our positive self image. It does not have to be extraordinary events that knock our good feelings out of the ring, even daily living experiences can take their toll. For example, the boss who never has and never will appreciate your work. Or, the favored older sibling who managed to stay married to the same spouse forever and to have important scientific papers published (no, that one isn't me, I do have an older cousin with a great lake house and a paid off mortgage, though). The realization that we are not going to be perfect parents (well, yes, that is me). And, then, there is always the aging process to pull the rug out from under. Gravity, wrinkles, graying hair, loss of muscle tone, and all the things that begin to go wrong with your body and your memory as you age, can take away even more of your self-confident.

Some people never had much in the way of self-esteem to begin with. You may have had a difficult childhood that made you feel bad about yourself. You may have had parents who were too busy earning a living or simply trying to survive to let you know how great you were and how much you meant to them. You may even have had mean parents or no available parents, so there was no one important in your life to tell you how important you were in theirs. Children can rarely go beyond the emotional boundaries set by their parents, at least not while they are still growing up. So, if you don't like yourself, your children will not learn how to like themselves. And, if none of you is confident and happy about who you are, then you will not feel entitled to seek each other out when you are in need.

Healthy self-esteem lets adults take healthy risks, so when the job goes, you feel good enough about yourself to jump into the job market and find another. Knowing that you are capable in that way gives your family a feeling of strength against the unknown. Healthy adult self-esteem also protects you from letting others treat you badly. That means that your children will see you give and expect respect and good treatment from others. They won't see you get symbolically pounded, they won't see you victimized, and they will see that you can recover from the torrents. When your children see you being strong, they know that their family is strong. Adult Self-Esteem Tips Others see us through the lens that we color and shape. If we do not like ourselves, others will find fault as well.

Sometimes, our busy lives can erode our self-esteem even before we know it. While we are busy taking care of everyone else, our own needs get put aside until we are so full of unmet needs that we begin to think that is all we are. Just a constantly draining well of neediness that has no way of re-filling. We have to remember that we are important to our families, to our selves, and to the other people in our lives. We have to remember that we have value and that we deserve to look in the mirror and say "My goodness, that is a fine person looking at me today."

If you would like to increase your self-esteem, here are some things you might want to try.

• Set personal boundaries. Nothing drains us of self-esteem faster than letting other people walk all over us. It might be the boss who always makes you work late, it might be the teen who daily lists your faults (my life again), it might the spouse who loves you but can't remember your birthday, it might be the parent who still criticizes the way you fold your towels. Take a look at your life and determine where you need to say "Stop" and then stick with it.

• Spend time with your children. That's right, carve out some extra time in your busy week to have some fun time with your kids. There is nothing like seeing how much your children love being with you to make you realize how important and valuable your place in their world is.

• Make a list of your accomplishments. Every couple of months, write out everything you have accomplished. It does not have to be something huge, just the daily stuff of life, such as: got the plumbing fixed, finished report at work on deadline, gave spouse a wonderful birthday party, managed to give kids summer holiday despite limited budget. Those are the things that make up life. Tolstoy did a great job of writing War and Peace, but did he do anything else in that time period, or did his wife and his lover take care of the daily grind.? I bet those two women accomplished far more than he did, and I bet they were never thanked. You may never be thanked either, but you need to validate the things you do that keep your family going.

• Try something new. Self-esteem does not come to those who sit and wait. You have to get out there and try something in life. If the things you are currently doing don't make you feel good, then try something new. Take a course, learn to paint furniture, take up bowling, become an amateur rose grower. It doesn't matter what you try, just try something. Even if it doesn't work out, you can at least feel better for having tried.

• Set the bar lower. Many of us judge our own success by measuring ourselves against others (remember my cousin who owns the mortgage free lake house to die for?). Well, I will never have a house like hers and I will never pay off my mortgage, but that is because I am raising many children (none of whom are currently in jail), so that means something, doesn't it? Our small successes are just as valuable to our family and to the world as the major successes of others.

• Get a good hairdresser or barber. Studies have shown that the first thing people notice in others is their hair. And, I bet that you know that when you look in the mirror, how your hair looks has a major impact on how good you feel about yourself. It doesn't matter if this is a superficial value, it is a value nonetheless, and a good hair cut can make you like yourself more. Take the time and the money from the family's resources to give yourself this boost. It will make everyone feel better, not just you.

• Exercise. You can exercise without changing your lifestyle. Just add a ten minute walk at night, or a couple of sit ups during the afternoon. This isn't about losing weight or building muscles, it's about getting those exercise induced 'feel good' hormones going again.

• Jettison the baggage. Take a look at your life and determine who needs to be in it with you and whose time is over. Sometimes we have friends, or even relatives, who have been important to us at one point, but whose presence has become a problem. You can maintain some part of the relationship, but take a look at the ways you need it to change, or if it is still worth retaining.

• Spend time with friends. There is nothing like being with people who like us to make us like ourselves. You don't have to drop your family responsibilities to carouse with your buddies, but you can find one event a month that is just you and a couple of friends. Maybe it is lunch outside of the office with colleagues with whom you have a special affection, or may be it is a movie night out with the girls (or guys) who have been friends long enough to really know you. Create the time and make sure your family knows that it is important that they cooperate in your attending.

• Make friends. For many of us, our busy-ness and the way we have to categorize each part of our life (parent, adult child, worker, soccer mom) has decreased our ability to make or keep friends. Try different ways to have friends. For example, set a date on the calendar to have a neighborhood bar-be-que and send fliers out to all your neighbors. Follow up by asking them to bring something and getting R.S.V.Ps. Or, start chatting with someone who looks responsive at your church or social event group. Or, start talking to some of the other soccer moms and dads and see if you can strike up a friendship there. Is there someone at your exercise club (remember, you are going to exercise) who you think you have a lot in common with?

• Keep your bedroom clean. You may already do this, but many of us don't. We make sure that every other room in the house is clean and tidy, but we never get around to the place that is supposed to be our sanctuary at the end of the day. Make this room your priority. Keep it looking welcoming and pleasant. This is where you are you, where the pretense is dropped and where you unwind. So, make the space attractive, tidy, clean, and a place where you really want to end the day.

• Throw out your old clothes. You don't need reminders of what no longer fits, or of a lost youth. If you have outgrown an article of clothing, either by size or by age, then get rid of it. You can't make room for the best you that you are now, if you are hanging onto a version of you that no longer exists.

• Get a pet that you like. Often, we buy our pets because of what we think our children need. May of us think that our kids need an "Old Yeller" type of dog (one that doesn't have to be shot, of course), to teach them responsibility, or to watch over them, etc. But, the truth is it is generally the parents who take care of the animal. So, forgo the turtle that will eventually hibernate in the back of the closet and only come out once a year, and buy what you want. Some kind of dog or cat or even a lizard if that is what you like. Just so that it is honestly yours. I once read in a book that of all the memories that stick with a person through life, it is the memory of the look in the eyes of a faithful and loving dog that will sustain and comfort us in old age. Well, I hope you have more than that to comfort you in your twilight years, but for the present, get a pet that loves you unconditionally during all the times that no one else does.

• Act as if you have high self-esteem. If you can't feel good about yourself just yet, then act as if you do. That will cause other people to treat you better and then soon enough, you will begin to actually feel like you deserve their good treatment.

by Brenda McCreight Ph.D.

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Self Esteem, Community Service and Empowerment - Part 1

By H. Veronika Gaia

Attention teachers! Challenge students to use their uniqueness as a contribution to make a positive difference in our world through community service and empower the young. Through participation in school-created community service programs, students elevate their social consciousness to social responsibility as defined in the Bill of Responsibilities: to give sympathy, to understand and help others; to respect the rights and beliefs of others. Students also participate in the group process of cooperative learning, conflict resolution, critical thinking and problem solving by creating and organizing community service projects. Students enhance self esteem through experience. Consequently, self esteem becomes earned esteem.

Keys for Success From my personal experience of creating and directing a successful community service program for seventeen years, here are some keys for success:

o Community service programs that enhance self esteem are experiential. Self esteem will always be enhanced with the experience of serving, helping and leading.

o Allow community service to be an innate response to needs. Ask for student volunteers. Criteria for the program could be students who possess an attitude of acceptance and tolerance toward others and who have a commitment and respect toward the environment.

o A community service program could have two components. One component of the program could be integrated into the school day. Also, there could also be an after-school component of the program that would involve a weekly commitment by students for a specified number of months.

A complete description of the two components of a successful community service program can be found in part 2 of this article.

o Longevity will determines the success of the program.

Be prepared for growth with this program because everyone can serve; there is no need to exclude anyone.

Actual student responses to the program have included: "I feel listened to." "Thank you for believing in me." "I know that I can make a difference in our world." When students truly know and feel that they can make a difference in our world with their actions, they are empowered. Community service programs allow students to work heart-first and the energy of young people will change the world. The members of your student activists will become heroes for all adults involved with your community service program.


About the author: H. Veronika Gaia is a teacher, writer and nature photographer. She believes that every person can make a difference in our world. PeacemakersArt.com provides opportunities for you to make a contribution by purchasing with a purpose. Veronika sells inspirational nature photography art as greeting cards, motivational posters and fine art prints with peaceful intentions for self awareness, human potential and community service. Please visit her website at http://www.PeacemakersArt.com/ .

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How To Boost Your Self Esteem

By Robert Hunt

There is one consistent factor that lies at the heart of so many challenges we face in our lives and that is low self esteem. It doesn't even occur to some individuals that the root cause of so many of they're issue's are related to the low self image they have of themselves. The affliction itself is allowed to take root and smolder for years. These individuals blame they're problems on prejudice, abusive relationships, a mean and unfair boss, etc. They compensate by acting aloof, or tough, egotistical or even disengaged. This can manifest into poor relationships, financial difficulties, lack of follow through or commitment or any number of traits that degrade the quality of our lives.

It's much easier to blame outside forces, but in doing so, denies the problem and any potential solutions. Disguising low self esteem as some other visible issue, the problems are never addressed and overcome. But you can count on one thing, whatever challenges arise in our life, you can bet someone else has had it worse than us and has gone on to bigger and better successes.

Ask yourself who is the primary force that shapes your life? Who does the majority of your thinking? Who chooses to think what they wish to think on a daily basis? The answer of course, is you. You shape your life and no one else. So is there anything preventing you from going on to bigger and better things? If others have faced greater external challenges and succeeded, then can outside circumstances determine the course of your life?

Low self esteem in large part is a product of how we were raised. Researchers have found that we come to the predominant view of ourselves by the age of five. By this age, the world is either a safe or dangerous place and we react either positively or negatively. Our parents are the primary shapers at this time but this is also tempered by our experiences in school and our experiences in society as a whole.

Our foundation of thinking is impacted a great deal at an early age and is carried with us into adulthood. By this time, we have accepted our flaws and how we define ourselves, not even thinking that the very flaws we have come to accept as fact, have nothing to do with reality at all. It is just a product of the way we have decided to accept ourselves. But that doesn't mean its true.

I believe we can improve our self esteem by making a genuine effort to focus on a sense of empowerment. We can do this by making a commitment to spend time to understand who we really are as individuals. Really make the commitment. Not an half hearted attempt, or "I don't have time" attempt. Peel the onion of your self and go deeper and deeper to a place that will allow you to realize the power of who you really are.

We have decided to carry this bag around called a "self image". This is the image you have formed about yourself in comparison to those around you. Its nothing more than a judgment you have made about yourself. This self image in most people is probably kind of negative since we usually compare ourselves to someone "better" than us. Look at children who are three, four years old. They have perfect self esteem because they have not formed a self image by that age. They don't judge themselves.

Take stock of your negative inner talk. Most people's self talk is 95% negative. They see the worst in themselves. It is our thoughts and beliefs that shape and produce what we become. The quality of our lives is a direct result of them. Use that negative talk to remind yourself that this is not the path to your higher self. One of the basic keys to success in life is the ability to recognize that many of the challenges manifesting as external problems in our lives are really issue's that are disguised as low self esteem. What do you think?

Robert Hunt is the creator of MySelfDevelopment - http://myselfdevelopment.net

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Who Would You Be?

By Jon F. Hansen

Your mind is a powerful tool that loves to think. It loves to solve problems, puzzle things out, answer questions. My clients often find themselves stuck in "thinking mode," looping endless loops around well-worn and frustrating questions, anxieties, concerns, and plans. You've undoubtedly experienced this as well.

At first, the idea of asking a question and deliberately not trying to figure out the answer seems a little strange. And for most of the questions in your day, it would be a little strange. From deciding what clothes to put on in the morning to what you want for dinner, you generally expect a fairly quick answer to the questions that arise.

The more profound questions of life, however, cannot be answered through thought, problem-solving, or logic. Embody them, carry them with you for a while, allow them to percolate through not only your mind, but your emotions, your body, and into deeper awareness. This is true inquiry.

One of the deepest inquiries you can make of your Self is to examine a core belief or behavior. A core belief is a cluster of thoughts that lies at the very heart of your way of being in the world. It's the result of social conditioning, things you were taught as a child or an adult, deep-seated beliefs and thoughts that painfully limit the full expression of your talents, abilities, and wholeness. When you question these core beliefs through inquiry, you bring them into the light of day and you gently allow yourself to perceive their falseness.

One way to pose this question is to ask who you would be without the belief. By asking in this way, you're not telling yourself to change anything, you're just noticing other options. After all, you can't stop thinking or feeling in a particular way, and trying only creates more pain and struggle. Instead, this inquiry allows you to explore from a perspective of curiosity and wondering.

Here are three questions to consider as a part of your own inquiry into who and what you really are. Consider them one at a time, not all together. Start with whichever one connects most deeply with where you are today. Experience them. Don't try to answer them or to force yourself into different behavior or different thoughts. If you find yourself wandering into self-judgment or criticism, you're thinking, not experiencing. These are for exploration, for turning on your inner lights, for finding your way home again. They're not meant for logical, rational answers.

Who would you be if you weren't afraid?

Whether you call it concern, worry, nervousness, anxiety, or even panic, fear in its many guises underlies more of human behavior than most people realize. And fear imposes more limitations on who and what we all are in the world than any other emotion or belief.

Who would you be if you weren't afraid? Who would you be without that cage around your spirit?

Who would you be if you didn't need to be right?

From earliest childhood you were taught by parents, friends, and teachers that it's important to be right, to win, to be the best. From that perspective, being wrong or making a mistake becomes not only an error in judgment or of behavior, but also a personal flaw.

Who would you be if you didn't need to be right? Who would you be if making mistakes and striving for perfection were both simply opportunities to explore, create, and learn?

Who would you be if you stopped reacting to your thoughts?

One of my clients has a set of wind-up chattering teeth on her desk to remind her that thoughts are indeed only chatter or background noise. When you react to that ongoing stream of thought, you become frustrated, self-critical, fearful, and driven.

Who would you be if you stopped reacting to your thoughts? Who would you be if you stopped believing them?

Relax ... stop ... and inquire

Ask these questions gently. There aren't any answers to figure out. There's just a quiet opening of possibilities, a noticing that something other than your mind is engaged, interested, aware.

"A spiritual question is like an alarm clock thrown into the dream. ... It disrupts the dream. That's its purpose. When your alarm clock goes off in the morning, its purpose is not to get an answer. Its purpose is to wake you up." From *My Secret is Silence* by Adyashanti, American spiritual teacher and author

(c)Jon Hansen

Helping bright, creative women break free from others' expectations and reclaim their wholeness and power.

About the Author

I'm Jon Hansen of The Remembering Room.

After a lifetime of being all things to all people, is it possible to live from who you are instead of for other people's expectations?

You can break down the walls and rediscover/reclaim the wholeness that's your birthright. For more information or to access my free resources (including my free guided meditations) please visit The Remembering Room

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Pride - It's a Self-Esteem Issue!

By Elias Scultori

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission." - Eleanor Roosevelt

I came across this quote while doing some research for a talk I was scheduled to give at a Gay and Lesbian Pride Center during the month of June when gay pride is celebrated all around the world. Of course, they asked me to talk about gay pride -- with a life coaching twist. And since so much has been already said about this subject I thought at first, I would inevitably end up being redundant. But as I continued to explore the subject, I began to think more and more about the correlation between pride and self-esteem. Has anyone talked about this already?

Since the Stonewall riots of 1969, every year during the month of June, millions of people who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender (GLBT) have inundated the avenues of major cities all around the world, waving their rainbow flags and proclaiming their gay pride. Almost 40 years later, the community has won major battles against discrimination and today, despite of all the political struggles, an increasing number of people recognize the importance of giving full legal rights and public acceptance to gay people.

The irony is that even after years of parading down the streets and boldly celebrating all the diversity of our people, low self-esteem continues to be a chronic issue within the gay community today. The alienation, discrimination and abuse that in the past and even today continue to afflict young GLBT individuals have made a huge mark in our personal and communal mental health. How can we wave our flags, demand for equal rights and at the same time still struggle with our own self-image and self-value?

The good news is that self-esteem is something we can all work on and improve. Here are some tips:

Surround yourself with people who care about you

I cannot stress more the importance of having a great support system. Friends and family are the source of our energy and wellbeing. But sometimes, as we go on our journey to find and strengthen this support we make certain connections that are less than desirable. And our own low self-esteem is probably the reason why we continue to sustain these relationships. You see! Low self-esteem feeds on low self-esteem. Break the cycle by nourishing relationships with people that love you. Make sure you have a group of cheerleaders that are there to lift you up, to respect you, to treat you well and to remind you of the wonderful person you are. At the same time, remember to do the same with others. There is nothing better to boost our own self-esteem then when we see ourselves being good and fair to other people. And if you have someone that is simply relentless on trying to put you down, ignore it. Most likely that person is doing it because of his/her own low self-esteem. I assure you, 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you.

Be your own best friend

At this point, it is all about you. More important than having a group of cheerleaders, you have to be your No. 1 fan. Always treat yourself well. Be kind, be reasonable, be compassionate with who you are. Respect yourself and your own wishes. Look inside your heart and follow what you see there. Be true to your own values and ideals. Show yourself that you are a good human being by celebrating the beauty that resides inside of you.

Invest in yourself

What about all those dreams and ideas you've been hiding and avoiding for so long? It is time to bring them back to light and pursue them. It is time to take ownership of the talents and gifts you have and invest time, energy and money on developing them. Set goals that are based on your desires and work to achieve them. If you need help, talk with a friend, hire a personal coach. Bring yourself out and learn how to show to everyone the beautiful person you already are. There is no other better investment in the world.

Spend time on things that you enjoy

What are the top 3 things that you take pleasure in the most in your life? Name them and make the point of doing them -- regularly. If you have a hard time making this short list, look back at your past and remember the moments when you felt satisfied and fulfilled. They will give you a hint of the things that uplift you and make you happy. After you worked hard and succeeded in achieving a goal, reward yourself and indulge in something that is fun. Have a great time and appreciate how deserving you are of that moment.

Take responsibility

A good self-esteem does not come only by pampering and telling yourself how good you are. A sound and healthy self-esteem is sustained by recognizing the solid person you are and the great values you bear. And these values are shown no better than when you take responsibility for your own choices and actions. Acknowledge that the choices you made in the past were the best choices you could have made with the resources you had at that time. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, look forward and make a commitment from this point on to choose based only on your own beliefs and standards -- nobody else's.

Good self-esteem and real pride happen through the interactions we have with our own heart and with the people we relate to. It is the result of a network of situations, habits and connections. And now, as adults, we are the only ones who have the power over them. If we agree with the initial quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, improving our self-esteem and self-love is imperative in our journey to equal rights. Let's make sure we stand firm inside and make an even stronger presence everywhere we go. Respect will follow suit.

Elias Scultori is a professional life coach. His practice and speaking engagements expand across the country and abroad. His focus is on helping his clients remove barriers, unearth their talents and true desires so they can build a personal and/or professional life journey that is full, rewarding and authentic. Elias was born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and presently lives in Princeton, NJ. To find out more go to http://www.lifecoaching-egs.com

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The Four Components of Good Self-Esteem Or Positive Identity

By Bob Perdue

People who struggle with low self-esteem normally exhibit many relational and emotional problems. The desire for a good self-esteem is great and is actually found in relationship with something bigger than ourselves. One of the wonderful benefits of living in relationship with God by faith is that He gives us a positive identity. We know who we are and we know it is good! This positive identity is another term for what psychologists call positive self-esteem. It is actually a more accurate term because self-esteem is about how I feel about myself, positive identity is about who I really am! Positive identity has four major components:

1) Virtue. This is the sense that we have spiritual value and worth. Our value is inherent in the fact that we are created in the image of God. It is not derived from the good things I do for God. God created Adam and Eve and then called them good. What had they done to deserve that affirmation? Nothing. Their goodness was a part of the way God made them, their true self. Knowing our true value is a vital part of a positive identity.

2) Community. This is the sense that we belong and are a part of something
bigger than ourselves, that we have something to offer. God created us out of community ("let us create man..") and for community ("it is not good for man to be alone"). An infant is "we" with its mother before he or she become an "I". Knowing that you belong to a caring community is a vital part of a positive identity.

3) Power. This is the sense that we have choices and the ability to choose. We have already established that God created us with a choice and with the power to make that choice. Limits to our power by God-given boundaries help keep our power from destroying our virtue. Knowing that we have the power to make good choices is a vital part of a positive identity.

4) Gender. This is the sense that we are masculine or feminine and comfortable with our sexuality. God specifically created mankind as "male and female". The difference between the genders is a part of the design. The unique ways that God created men and women allow them to complement each other as they move together toward intimacy. Knowing our gender and being comfortable with our masculinity or femininity is a vital part of a positive identity.

Since all four of these qualities are part of the true self that God created us to be, it stands to reason that any movement away from these qualities is a good indication that we have taken a detour from life. In fact, anytime that we move away from life, our positive identity suffers because we are trying to find life in something other than God, and since God gives us our positive identity, we lose sight of it as we wander from Him. Therefore, these components of positive identity become a good criterion for judging whether we are living in this intimate relationship with God called life.

This is a good time for us to pause and ask a few probing questions. Do I understand my true value as a person or do I tend to base my value on performance or behavior? Do I fully enter in to community and feel a part of something bigger than myself or do I tend to isolate from others and "perform" at public functions? Do I carefully use my power to make good choices or do I tend to play the victim, as if I have no power to make positive choices? Do I feel the need to use my power to control those around me? Am I comfortable with my masculinity or femininity, or do I tend to act as though I have something to prove in that area? Life and positive identity go hand in hand. This is the way we can regularly take inventory of our life.

Our tendency, though, is to judge the quality of our life by other criteria. Am I happy? Am I getting what I want? Am I achieving all of my goals? These criteria actually grow out of a view of God as a resource to make my life work the way I think it should rather than viewing God as life itself!

Bob's testimony and the keys to his success can be found in his book, 10 Life Choices available at http://www.lifenowministries.com or http://www.amazon.com - Bob is a gifted speaker and has shared his testimony throughout the US, in Brazil, Portugal and Germany. Contact Bob at bob@lifenowministries.com

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Sure-Fire Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

By Kaled Asmri

Simply put, self-esteem means placing a value on oneself, on one's performance. We're constantly estimating our self-worth-usually based on whatever happened five minutes ago. Strange how if someone looks at us funny, our self-esteem can suddenly plummet. Self-esteem is less stable than any stock market - it vacillates wildly, nothing but peaks and valleys, with no plateaus, no slow but steady ascents.

That is, unless you learn how to promote healthy self-esteem. Self-esteem does have a bit of a snowballing effect; if we learn to begin thinking positively of ourselves, and placing a high value on our abilities, that positive energy will feed on itself, and multiply. It simply has to be promoted properly.

We all have a voice inside ourselves that is constantly evaluating our actions and thoughts, and gauging our self-worth. Even the Ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates, spoke of his "little demon," the voice that guided him from within, separating truth from untruth.

Unfortunately, for many of us, our inner voice is likely to exaggerate, in both directions. Sometimes it builds us up to dangerous proportions; at other times, it kicks us while we're down, piling insults upon our heads.

Exaggerations of this sort are hardly productive. If we have an inflated sense of self-esteem, we may seriously miscalculate our abilities, and bite off more than we can chew-not to mention offending people around us with our overblown ego. Still worse, perhaps, is the feeling that we are completely worthless. Low self-esteem like this can reduce us to complete inactivity, since we feel as if we are incapable of anything.

At this point, a vicious circle can be set in motion; we do nothing because we think we can't do anything, and soon we think we can't do anything, because we are doing nothing. It can be hard to snap out of this sort of cycle of low self-esteem.

How can we foster a healthy, level-headed sense of self-esteem? We all know people who have it; many of them maintain it, almost naturally, from early childhood. Throughout life, they have the feeling, without seeming cocky, that they're capable of doing wonderful things.

How can we achieve this sort of feeling, if we weren't born with it?

The good news is that good self-esteem can become a habit, if we show some determination in establishing it. If we're used to thinking poorly of ourselves, it can be difficult to gain this sort of momentum. Here are a just a few pointers on how to build self-esteem:

1. Be constructive. After victories or setbacks, offer constructive criticism or congratulations. Keep an even keel. Whatever you do, don't beat your self up.

2. Learn from your errors, but don't become fixated on them. Draw the right lessons from your setbacks, then move on.

3. Take some pride in your achievements. We all have accomplishments to be proud of, and talents to make use of. Never lose sight of what makes you unique.

4. Everything in moderation. That includes your goals. Dream big, certainly-but realize those dreams in manageable steps. This way, you'll be setting yourself up for success, not for frustration.

5. Encounter the unknown. Don't get complacent. Get out there and do something you've never done before. You'll discover talents you didn't know you had-and that sort of self-discovery can't help but increase your self-esteem.

Thank you for reading this article. I am Kaled Asmri, the founder of SuccessElixir.net. Visit us now and enjoy the best success secrets and self improvement ideas...

SuccessElixir.Net

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How's Your Self-Esteem, Baby Boomer?

By Amy Sherman

What do you know about your self-esteem? In general, self-esteem is the mental image you hold about who you are. As you age, your self-esteem will naturally improve, since you don't have to deal with the silly adolescent pressures of your youth. In fact, most people think of adults as being confident, self-assured and capable. But as you know, you have moments of insecurity and doubt that leave you feeling inept and uncertain. One thing is definite. Changes in health, life-style, family roles, activities and finances may adversely affect your self-concept and self-esteem.

Here are some tips to help boost your self-image and put you back on the road to self-confidence and self-belief.

1. Remain in control of your health. Eat a nutritious diet designed to maintain your good health. For instance, if you have high blood pressure, be sure to adhere to a low-sodium dietary protocol because it will assure your feeling good and keeping your heart healthy.

2. Manage your time effectively. Stay mentally active in life-long learning classes. Include daily physical exercise programs, volunteer, have family outings, all with the intent of making your day full and pleasing.

3. Maintain a strong social life, doing things with others who share your same interests. Being involved in church or civic groups, political organizations, adventure and sporting events, etc keep you involved and engaged in activities with other interesting people.

4. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have accomplished over your lifetime. Reassess your contributions to others and to the broader community and continue to give what you can, when you can.

5. With your children older or out of the house, you may feel less important or valued. Examine new options for making your life exciting and even better. There may be new methods you can learn for improving old skills. For instance, many midlife adults go back to hobbies they put aside years ago, only to learn a better or more efficient technique.

A good self-esteem will keep you happier, healthier and feeling younger. What do you know about your self-esteem? It never has to go down or be diminished because of the natural changes that occur in your life. You can maintain a strong self-image when you maintain your personal sense of control and take charge of your life's plan.

Amy Sherman, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor in private practice. Amy is the author of the ebook, "Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer's Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life." She specializes in issues specific to the 40+ generation and is available for telephone coaching, face-to-face therapy, teleseminars, radio and TV interviews. For more information, go to http://www.bummedoutboomer.com sign up for her free newsletter and receive a Special Report on Overcoming Adversity. She can be reached by email at amy@bummedoutboomer.com or by phone at 561) 281-2975.

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Improving Self Esteem

By Robert Grazian

Life is filled with ups and downs. Any kind of a situation like a marriage, marks in your exam may affect your self esteem. You have to strive in improving self esteem. That can be achieved by your own will power. Nothing is impossible and thus you can also improve your self esteem.

In order to improve self esteem, first you will have to identify the area where you lack in self esteem. Try to bring about a change in it. Do one thing at a time. And keep a track of how well you perform. It can be exams or any other matter.

A positive approach to things can improve self esteem. Think positive. This is very necessary to build confidence. Try to feel good about the situation that you may be facing. This would definitely build your self esteem.

When meeting a person look into the eyes of the person. This would build confidence and improve self esteem. When meeting somebody try to be happy and feel that this person is good and is important to you. This would bring about some amazing changes in the way you would interact with the person.

Always remember that listening is very important. This is essential to improve self esteem. Do listen to the other persons talk and then speak. If not understood then you can ask again. Listening is a good habit that needs to be developed over time.

When some person is talking to you try to respond to the person. This could be by either nodding your head, smiling, or saying a word or two like ok. This again requires practice and will take some time to build your self esteem.

Some people tend to cut off their mind to some other topic when some body is speaking. This should be avoided in order to improve self esteem. Try to respect the other person to be respected also.

Some people tend to be very sensitive. Such people should have a positive approach towards life. And try to build their self esteem. Certain words and criticisms can heart a person of this nature. So caution should be taken when dealing with such people.

In order to improve self esteem you can also take the help of other people. You can ask help from friends, family, teachers, counselors etc. they would surely help you out to boost your self esteem and make you a better person.

Robert Grazian is an accomplished niche website developer and author.

Robert Grazian is an accomplished niche website developer and author. To learn more about improving self esteem visit Best Self Esteem for current articles and discussions.

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Simple, Quick Self Esteem Hypnosis

By Alex Hawk

Hypnotizing yourself to raise your self esteem

Our self esteem plays a critical role in our lives. Without confidence, we can't achieve success and we'd feel alienated from society. It would be a safe assumption to say that self esteem and happiness are closely linked, so how can you survive without it?

By spending quality time to improve yourself and your self esteem, your confidence will gradually grow and eventually, you will become a better person. Although there are many ways of accomplishing this, one of the most effective way is through self esteem hypnosis.

What Is Self Esteem Hypnosis?

Think of hypnosis as something close to meditation. It's easy, simple, natural, and fun to do. Many consider it an expert tool in raising your self esteem. In fact, it's a very powerful and effective tool to use when facing those negative, "rainy" days.

One Quick Self Esteem Hypnosis Trick

Breathe deep. Relax. Slow down your mind and your body. Your mind should be giving you positive thoughts that you should focus on. After that bring up negative memories.

See yourself in the situation, but this time as the person you'd like to become. Think his thoughts. Feel her feelings. Continue to breathe deep.

What you're accomplishing is the gradual "re-association" of positive feelings with past negative events. By doing so, you're converting your mind (and thus yourself) into the person you want to be.

By deciding how you want to respond, think, and feel in different situations, you empower yourself. As you can see, this is a very powerful tool when used consistently and persistently.

Other Uses Of Self Esteem Hypnosis

Hypnosis is also great for changing numerous other issues.

In fact, you can even use hypnosis to quit smoking and drinking. With a new positive attitude, you won't be needing anymore vices to run away to.

Self esteem hypnosis is a power tool that you must take advantage of. Use it wisely to gradually improve yourself, remove those vices, and fit in with society better.

If you're looking for more quick, simple, easy, and effective positive thinking to boost self esteem, be sure to check out this FREE self esteem blog

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Tips To Build High Self-Esteem

By Zoltan Roth

When you mention high self-esteem many of us think of some "over-confident", egoistic person who has lost the sense of reality and trying to appear more than who he really is. In my opinion there is no such a thing that being too confident, having too high "amount" of self-esteem. But pretending to be self confident and showing the signs of it on the surface and living with somebody else inside that does exist.

The outside recognition could make you believe in something what you are actually not. Great examples are gang members, belonging to a certain group just because my friends go there, church, party goers etc. You can have positive feedback from them, you can pretend to feel happy among them, but if those feelings and experiences do not match with your beliefs you would not have healthy high self-esteem.

You always have to look for the company of others who can support you with their constructive criticism. Your friends' honest opinion - even if it means that you have to change certain habits or your attitude - is more important than bold agreement.

Building high self-esteem is a learned process. Everybody, I mean everybody can do that. You just have to decide to do that.

Here are some tips to help you out;

1. FOCUS: Every single cell of your body and your mental capacity has to concentrate on 1 single thing whatever you do. Focus itself can create success. Concentration is an indispensable part of high self-esteem. It will teach you how to ignore obstructions and guide your thoughts toward the chosen subject.

2. PERSISTENCE: This is the key to live a happy, blissful life you all deserve. Many people can start something, but really few would finish it. You can find those who complete the job among the most successful and/or the wealthiest people in the world.
The reason I use and/or, because to be successful you do not necessarily have to be rich in financial terms.

Mahatma Gandhi - the Great Soul of India - started fasting and the British Empire left India. He had probably no high value assets or bank accounts. He had an enormous mental and spiritual power to show people around the world, that you can achieve what you want without aggression if you are determined enough. His persistence was peaceful and "soft". That is how he became a legend.

3. TRIAL & ERROR: We all try and make mistakes. This is inevitable for our personal growth. The more you fail the more you learn.

Think of Thomas Edison who was asked after trying to create a light bulb 10000 times unsuccessfully :
"- Mr. Edison, how did it feel to fail 10000 times?"

"- I did not fail. I found 10000 ways that won't work. - he replied."

That's the spirit. You do not fail, you just learn how not to do it.

You have to start the healing process for developing high self-esteem as soon as possible. Educate yourself, read, listen and talk to people, but please remember that at the final moment you have to make the decision. You are your own "healer". You are the one who will choose pleasure instead of pain. Self-discovery, self-creation is a wonderful journey, so

ENJOY THE JOURNEY MY FRIEND

Zoltan Roth is a native Hungarian teacher who resides in the United States. His passion is to help people around the globe to discover their enormous mental potential to create a happy, peaceful life we all deserve. For more information please visit his website at http://www.selfesteem2go.com

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I Can't Or I Won't?

By Kent Healy

"I can't exercise today." "I can't ask her on a date!" "I can't make more money." Whoa, there partner! Let's think about this for a moment. Once we stop to think about what words we choose to use and how often we use them, we might actually surprise ourselves.

I've noticed one word specifically that has subtly squirmed its way into more and more conversations. I'm sure you're aware of the four letter word I am referring to. That's right: Can't.

It seems that the word "can't" has become a one-step solution many people use to put their nagging inner-thoughts to rest. After all, once we declare something cannot be done, we no longer need to think about, right? We can put it out of our mind and just let it go! "It's out of my control." "It's just not possible," as many would say. What a simple solution ... or is it?

The words we use have a far greater effect on our mentality than their obvious grammatical application. The word "can't" literally alters our perspective in an instant. It presupposes that we don't have the ability or the resources to get the result, which in most cases, is not true at all. But eventually, we believe what we repeatedly tell ourselves-whether it's factual or not. Before long, our creativity gradually disappears and we lower our expectations-only to set the stage for further disappointment.

Yes, there are appropriate occasions to use the word "can't", but many times, we use it to hide a deeper concern. Rarely is it used to indicate that something is actually impossible-it's often just a crutch we use to suppress the real reasons we choose not to take further action.

"I can't dance." "I can't give a speech." "I can't start a business." Sound familiar? Perhaps, if we were to be completely honest with ourselves, a more fitting description would begin with "I won't." For instance: "I won't start a business because I'm too afraid of failing." "I won't ask her on a date because I'm not willing to experience possible rejection." In other words, we choose to use the word "can't" when the process involves fear, inconvenience, or sacrifices that we are unwilling to endure. That's why "can't" is typically a choice rather than an accurate suggestion of impossibility.

If we think about it, we'll realize that it's often the very things we're putting off that will take us closer to where we really want to be. This becomes a very important concept once we understand that we will not pursue things that we believe cannot be done. If we believe that we cannot swim, then we will avoid the water. If we believe we cannot start a business, then there is no reason to try. But in reality, it's rarely a matter of "can't."

Try taking the verbal limitations out of your life. Next time you catch yourself using the "c-word," try exchanging it with "won't." For example, "I can't apply for the job" would become "I won't apply for the job because ..." fill in the blank. Who knows, you may find that the only thing holding you back is a false assumption.

Written by Kent Healy

At a young age reality gave Kent D. Healy a wake up call. He realized that he was not getting taught the important life-skills in school that he needed to become successful in the real world. Kent then partnered with his brother at age 17 to write his first book, "Cool Stuff" They Should Teach In School.

Since the book has been released, the overwhelming positive feedback has driven him to start his own publishing company called "Cool Stuff" Media, Inc. (http://www.coolstuffmedia.com ) The success of this company and the personal development material created by Kent has made him one of the most popular and sought-after young experts on the topic of success. (http://www.kenthealy.com )

Kent is a columnist, personal life coach, entrepreneur, and speaker. He has teamed up with some of the world's most respected leaders in the field of psychology and personal transformation-including the recent release of his book, The Success Principles for Teens which he co-authored with Jack Canfield.

He regularly appears in the media travels to speak to audiences of all ages and backgrounds and he is dedicated to helping others by offering them the tools they need to build a life they are proud of.

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