Blaming Others A Sign Of Low Self Esteem

By Carla Valencia

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. - Wayne Dyer

Blaming others is a sign of low self-esteem because in doing so we are not taking responsibility. If you do not take responsibility you will always be a victim of your circumstances.

I used to blame everybody and everything in the past until I realized that in doing so my circumstances were not changing and my self esteem did not improved. When I became aware of this behavior I took the decision not to blame anymore.

Whenever I find myself blaming people or circumstances I stop and I say to myself: Is time to take responsibility and I take action. This new behaviour has helped me to build my self esteem because I do not feel the victim anymore.

Here are some tips to stop blaming others and circumstances:


● If you made a mistake, admit it.

● If there is something in your life you are not happy about, do something to change it.

● When you find yourself blaming stop and say to yourself: is time to take responsibility.

● Be open to other's people opinion and if you did something wrong apologize. Remember that you are not always right.
In his book Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden suggest the following:
Self-Responsibility:

● I am responsible for the achievement of my desires

● I am responsible for my choices and actions

● I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my work

● I am responsible for my behavior with other people - coworkers, associates, customers, spouse, children, friends

● I am responsible for how I prioritize my time

● I am responsible for the quality of my communications

● I am responsible for my personal happiness

● I am responsible for accepting or choosing the values by which I live

● I am responsible for raising my self-esteem
If you want to have a healthy self esteem you must practice self-responsibility. This means that you are accountable for your choices and action in your life and especially in relationship with your own self.

Carla's professional background includes 15 years working as a Software Developer and Technical Writer with import-export and manufacture companies. Her passion about self-esteem issues had leaded her to write about her personal experiences.

Since she was very young she spent a lot of time researching and interviewing close friends and family on this subject. She has been examining alternative ways of dealing with life on many different levels.

She studied Metaphysic, Buddhism, and participated in several workshops to work inside herself. She's been using several techniques since the last 10 years like Hoponopono, Emotional Freedom, Rebirthing, Shadow Work and Meditation.

She published her first book when she was 23, "Let's love ourselves as we are".

Her passion: "Give her personal experience to others", her expression: "My life is my teaching".http://www.selfesteemawareness.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carla_Valencia

Mastering Self Esteem

By Sheila Conrad

The dance of life is between learning how to release self-judgments and learning how to identify and embrace our true nature. We are the only ones standing in the way of our success. When we are ready to accept that we are the embodiment of love, joy, happiness, and peace, we receive them. To learn to get out of our own way takes practice, patience, and perseverance.

To the degree that we control our minds, we control our lives. We are not our thoughts, but rather the one who is thinking them, watching them go by. By clearing our minds, we can understand the reality we are creating with our thoughts. This will help us focus on what works in our lives to create self esteem.

A source of unhappiness in my life and in the lives of every person I have worked with professionally is the belief that we are not good enough exactly as we are. This belief allows us to avoid being all we can be.

The source of this unhappiness is self-criticism. Self-criticism is a learned behavior. Self-critical thinking prevents us from taking action in the world. Every one of us has the power to change the thoughts that create our suffering. To become responsible for ourselves, we must be willing to stop indulging in and focusing on thoughts of unworthiness. When we stop focusing on unworthiness, we realize we are perfect, exactly as we are.

When we do not identify with a negative behavior, it weakens. We can then more easily observe our critical comments about this behavior as if we were an objective witness, we can remain calm, centered, and compassionate. We can see ourselves as the witness of our actions and we don't identify with them. Rather than reacting and avoiding, we allow. When we become aware that we are negatively judging ourselves, we see the value of observing ourselves from an impartial witness space.

We are more precious and valuable than any idea, regardless of where it comes from or who agrees with it. As long as we value our ideas and concepts more than accepting ourselves exactly as we are, our suffering is guaranteed. When this happens, it is best not to dwell on the ideas that created our suffering. We need to decide what are we going to do about it.

Until we take responsibility for the life we are creating, we will not be fulfilled. When we see how we choose to dwell on negative experiences and notice what payoffs and negative rewards we receive from this behavior, we will know we can make other choices and we will begin to live our lives more positively.

We need to take responsibility for clearing our mental house of the old beliefs that hinder and limit us. We also need to care for our body by nourishing, exercising and resting it. Our spirit needs acknowledgment and recognition, meditation or quiet time. Our emotions need play, recreation, and discipline. This is an on-going daily process and a major purpose of our lives.

A friend said, "It is not what you get in life but how you deal with what you get that determines what kind of person you are."

© Sheila Radha Conrad 2008

From her book, "Self Recognition", counselor and trainer, Sheila Radha Conrad offers free Life Mastery Skills exercises on her web site at http://www.lifemasteryskills.com

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Teen Low Self Esteem Building Self Worth And Self Confidence With Affirmations

By Terry Glass

No matter how you look at it, a teenager is overloaded with information from their parents, friends, teachers, media, television, magazines and loved ones. How many times have you stopped and thought to yourself, "What a day" or "what just happened".

With this constant barrage of information there is little wonder why a teenager starts to doubt their own self confidence and self worth. Should this become a problem you might find the teen turning to alcohol, substance abuse or negative behavior.

Having low self esteem leads to the teenagers daily activities and life in general being borderline miserable. If left unchecked this type of low self esteem can rule the teenagers life leading to insecurities, substance abuse or gaining a little too much weight.

Then how can affirmations build self esteem, improve self worth and skyrocket self confidence?

An affirmation is a chant or a phrase that you say to yourself either out aloud or to yourself in your head. An affirmation is you simply telling yourself that you want to make improvements in different areas of your life.

Example. Let's say you lack confidence when speaking with your friends because YOU THINK they look upon you as less worthy than them. In reality this is not the case, your friends really do look upon you equally, its just you think they don't.

Affirmations are an individual thing that fits your circumstances so in this case your affirmation will be something like - I am a confident person, what I have to say is worthy and I am just as good as my friends.

Another example might be that you feel ugly or unattractive. Your affirmation will be similar to - I am a beautiful person, I am not ugly, I am attractive.

This is pretty basic stuff is it not? What is an affirmation really doing? The affirmation is not some magic spell that will put everything right. No an affirmation is a mechanism where you will start to believe in yourself and not let unfounded beliefs to take control of your life.

Your affirmation is personal, it is just for you and is applicable to you. You must and will believe in your affirmation and as you get stronger you will trust your affirmation.

Each affirmation you use will improve your self confidence. I am a confident person is the thought your saying to yourself as you walk down the mall holding your head high. As your confidence grows so will your own self worth. You will dress with care, comb your hair maybe iron your clothes that little bit better. You will start to believe in yourself, you will develop a sound healthy feeling of self worth and as you do this, you will be building your self esteem.

Each time you achieve a point in your life using your affirmations then don't stop there. Look for the next point, build your very own affirmation and believe in it. As each point improves in your life you are developing your own character and will have successfully completed one very simple and easy strategy to build self esteem.

Terry Glass has been researching self esteem issues and provides care to sufferers on a daily basis. To reach a farther audience the site of Today Self Esteem discusses many aspects of self-esteem, self worth and self confidence issues relating to a child, girl, teenager, women and provides real strategies including affirmations to build self esteem and confidence. The main website http://www.today-self-esteem.com can be found at Teen girl building low self esteem, self worth and self confidence using affirmations.

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Pep Up Your Self Esteem!

By Priya Viswanathan

A lot of people do not get anywhere in life in spite of seeming to have everything going for them in life. So what is it that truly sets apart the average man from the extraordinary human being? The answer is short and simple - the real secret of success lies in self-esteem. Thinking is being. Believe it or not, merely working to develop a heightened sense of self-esteem can help bestow success on your life!

Pessimism and lack of self-confidence only causes more anxiety and tension, leading to failure in all tasks you ever take up. Once you break out of your vicious cycle of self-doubt, you develop great self-confidence, which automatically makes you virtually unstoppable in any field you intend to pursue! All of us are born with tremendous potential in a particular field. We all deserve to taste the sweet flavor of success due to us in this lifetime and it is our duty to go after that success!

Now, where do we get started with this quest for success? Everything in this Universe is right within us. Remember, in this cosmos, the macro is the micro. Hence, if we desire love and respect from other people, we must learn to love and respect ourselves first and foremost. There is definitely at least one thing we do not really like about ourselves. So what can be done about it? We can follow either of two routes here - change that thing we dislike about ourselves or just learn to accept and love ourselves the way we are.

• Accept yourself

Of course, there are certain things you just cannot change. For example, if your problem is overweight, you have many options to try and lose it. But if you feel inferior because you may not be good-looking enough, you need to get over it by changing your own thinking. Concentrate on some other aspect of yourself that shines forth in the social circuit. If you have ready wit or a great sense of humor for instance, show it off in public and you will be amazed at how soon you become the most popular person at any party!

• Be well-heeled

The whole world loves an elegant dresser. This does not mean that you immediately need to hit those hi-fi designer boutiques in your locality. Merely taking a bit more trouble to look and smell good goes a long way to creating the first good impression. Make sure to keep the hair clean and well-styled, wear neatly ironed clothes and always wear a hint of pleasant perfume. Further, maintaining an erect posture and smiling countenance will, by itself, create a feeling of well-being for you.

• Give and thou shalt receive!

Give in plenty - complements, that is! Keeping to yourself all the time in a work or social environment never ever pays. It is easy to win others' hearts by just being nice to them. Make it a habit to comment positively about people and acknowledge their pluses. Complementing others will allow them to open up to you and return the favor. Hearing others saying good things about you in turn, works wonders on your self-confidence.

• Work on your minuses

Know what your weak points are and systematically work on them. For instance, if you are shy and reticent by nature, do something about it. You could maybe join a personality development course or a public speaking course. This will help you get out of your self-imposed shell and mingle around freely with others. Make direct eye contact with the other party and smile more often - that in itself will project an image of utter self-confidence and control.

• Negate that fear complex

Most people withdraw into themselves for the sheer fear of societal rejection. If this is the case with you, learn to deal with that fear and negate it altogether, so it stops affecting your life. The most important thing here is to start enjoying who and what we do. If you have stage fright, go face a huge audience. You may be left shaking for the first couple of minutes, but you will be pleasantly surprised to see how quickly that silly phobia melts away! Counteract this thing called fear and show it who the boss is! Soon enough, you will feel your confidence levels rising and feel right on top of the world!

Snap out of that under-confidence and open your life up to a wonderful new world of immense opportunities. Increase your self-esteem and see how life changes for the better for you!

Priya Viswanathan is a Performing Artiste, an Internet Marketer and publisher of Best Affiliate Pro. Positive thinking is a way of life for her and she hopes to influence the lives of many for the better through the medium of the written word.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Priya_Viswanathan

Low Self Esteem - How To Deal With It In The Office

By Jeff Archer

Having a negative self image is a really distressing state to be in. You feel isolated and insecure, paranoid and angry all at the same time. The worst place for low self esteem to rear its head can be in the office where you can feel most vulnerable and judged by those around you. It doesn't always have to be this way you should not accept living with it. It takes time to change your mind about yourself but once you do, your life will be so much easier.

Here are some tips to help you cope with your negative self image. Give them a go rather than dismiss them because you think you may have tried everything. Being open to a solution is the first step to getting past your self esteem problem.

1. Support Network - Think about all your friends and work colleagues. Write down a list of those who make you feel good about yourself and those who you're friendly with but they always make you feel bad about yourself. As difficult as this may be, try spending much less time with those people who bring you down. Toxic Friends or Toxic Work Colleagues are plentiful - most people have them and sometimes you just need a clean out. Spend time with people who are positive and you can start picking up their good habits.

2. Don't Overreact - you'll need strategies in place that will help you to put things into perspective. You can't crumble everytime a colleague is rude or the boss is dismissive. Try asking yourself questions about what's just happened so you don't automatically take it so personally and use it as an excuse to out yourself down. What's going on here? Why is this happening? What does this mean? If your boss has just snapped, it could be that they are under pressure themselves, they may be distracted by something in their personal lives, you may have interrupted them when they were trying to get some work done. Focus on the FACTS and not the FICTION in your head.

3. Pass the Buck Buck- Don't accept responsibility for everything. Feel free to pass it back to others when it needs to be. If you're having work dumped on you, say you're too busy, politely point out that it's theirs to do. Stop helping people out in the office all the time because you want them to like you. You have all the rights in the world to be there and you don't need to keep apologising for it. Look at how much work your colleagues (whom you respect anyway!) do and compare it to your load. Now feel confident getting on with what you need to.

4.Try Something New - Take on a new hobby or have something else in your life apart from work to keep you busy. Life is so much more than just work but most people fall into the trap of letting work consume their minds. Be different and take up kick boxing or dancing or commit to a 10k run. Do something that you can focus on and you'll fantastic once you finish it. You'll realise that you could do it and start to feel good about yourself.

5. Set New Rules - Smile instead of getting cross; Ask questions instead of storming off to moan about what's just happened; From this moment on, you are not allowed to say I Can't....it's a forbidden sentence starter; People judge you by the way you judge yourself so don't put yourself down and say how rubbish you would be at something because then they will think the same about you. Just as putting yourself down is a bad habit, 'bigging' yourself up is a good habit and one you need to get into.

These tips are straight forward but with practice and a little time, you can start to feel better about yourself. You are as good as everyone else, it's only you that doesn't think so. Remember that next time you lay into yourself.

Jeff Archer is the Director of The Tonic, a corporate health and wellness company. Subscribe to http://the-tonic.blogspot.com and get more great tips

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeff_Archer

Self-Esteem - Overcome Low Self-Esteem with Simple Techniques

By Pierre Amyotte

Low self-esteem affects our love lives, careers, family bonds, and, most of all, our internal sense of well-being. High self-esteem, however, exudes confidence, problem-solving abilities and the assertiveness necessary to achieve your goals.

The more you like yourself, the more you act in likable ways. The more you believe you can achieve something, the more likely it is that you will.

It is a well-known fact that we can all take steps to improve our self-esteem. The most important relationship you have is with yourself!

The expression "Self-Esteem" is often used in our everyday life, although most people don't really know the exact meaning of it. Most people think that self esteem is another name for confidence. Certainly, confidence is part of the definition of self esteem but it is a lot more than that. For example, there are numerous people in the world that are at the height of their confidence but have very poor self-esteem. Most of the people in the public eye fall into this category. The most common are actors, comedians and singers who glow on stage, and yet offstage, they feel insecure.

There are a few different ways to improve your self esteem. The most basic of them is that you must realize that you are not alone. There are many others who have this problem. The second fact that you must remember is that you are a very special person and you are an important part of society and you have as much right to live happily and peacefully as everybody else.

Another thing to remember is that everyone makes mistakes. Making mistakes is a fact of life for everyone. No one is perfect. Never forget the saying 'to err is human'. Hopefully most of us will learn from our mistakes. We also have the right to respect ourselves just like we respect others. Most importantly, you have the right to say 'yes' or 'no' for yourself. People with poor self esteem feel that they are inferior to others and are unable to make the right decisions.

Here are some the techniques to help improve your self esteem.

* The ten minute technique: take ten minutes a day and do nothing but just sit and relax. This helps bring back your confidence. Many people find this technique helpful.

* Accentuate the Positive: if you are one of those who tends to go over your mistakes again and again, make sure it is only for one reason: to correct them.

* List 50 things that you like about yourself: then go over them every day. This will help you to focus on your strengths and will keep you on the right track.

To learn the simple secrets to building your self-esteem, visit http://www.selfesteem.healthehelp.com where you'll find everything you need to know about improving your confidence, including self help, self-esteem improvement courses, and much more!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pierre_Amyotte