Sunday, June 29, 2008

Improving Self Esteem

By Robert Grazian

Life is filled with ups and downs. Any kind of a situation like a marriage, marks in your exam may affect your self esteem. You have to strive in improving self esteem. That can be achieved by your own will power. Nothing is impossible and thus you can also improve your self esteem.

In order to improve self esteem, first you will have to identify the area where you lack in self esteem. Try to bring about a change in it. Do one thing at a time. And keep a track of how well you perform. It can be exams or any other matter.

A positive approach to things can improve self esteem. Think positive. This is very necessary to build confidence. Try to feel good about the situation that you may be facing. This would definitely build your self esteem.

When meeting a person look into the eyes of the person. This would build confidence and improve self esteem. When meeting somebody try to be happy and feel that this person is good and is important to you. This would bring about some amazing changes in the way you would interact with the person.

Always remember that listening is very important. This is essential to improve self esteem. Do listen to the other persons talk and then speak. If not understood then you can ask again. Listening is a good habit that needs to be developed over time.

When some person is talking to you try to respond to the person. This could be by either nodding your head, smiling, or saying a word or two like ok. This again requires practice and will take some time to build your self esteem.

Some people tend to cut off their mind to some other topic when some body is speaking. This should be avoided in order to improve self esteem. Try to respect the other person to be respected also.

Some people tend to be very sensitive. Such people should have a positive approach towards life. And try to build their self esteem. Certain words and criticisms can heart a person of this nature. So caution should be taken when dealing with such people.

In order to improve self esteem you can also take the help of other people. You can ask help from friends, family, teachers, counselors etc. they would surely help you out to boost your self esteem and make you a better person.

Robert Grazian is an accomplished niche website developer and author.

Robert Grazian is an accomplished niche website developer and author. To learn more about improving self esteem visit Best Self Esteem for current articles and discussions.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Robert_Grazian

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Simple, Quick Self Esteem Hypnosis

By Alex Hawk

Hypnotizing yourself to raise your self esteem

Our self esteem plays a critical role in our lives. Without confidence, we can't achieve success and we'd feel alienated from society. It would be a safe assumption to say that self esteem and happiness are closely linked, so how can you survive without it?

By spending quality time to improve yourself and your self esteem, your confidence will gradually grow and eventually, you will become a better person. Although there are many ways of accomplishing this, one of the most effective way is through self esteem hypnosis.

What Is Self Esteem Hypnosis?

Think of hypnosis as something close to meditation. It's easy, simple, natural, and fun to do. Many consider it an expert tool in raising your self esteem. In fact, it's a very powerful and effective tool to use when facing those negative, "rainy" days.

One Quick Self Esteem Hypnosis Trick

Breathe deep. Relax. Slow down your mind and your body. Your mind should be giving you positive thoughts that you should focus on. After that bring up negative memories.

See yourself in the situation, but this time as the person you'd like to become. Think his thoughts. Feel her feelings. Continue to breathe deep.

What you're accomplishing is the gradual "re-association" of positive feelings with past negative events. By doing so, you're converting your mind (and thus yourself) into the person you want to be.

By deciding how you want to respond, think, and feel in different situations, you empower yourself. As you can see, this is a very powerful tool when used consistently and persistently.

Other Uses Of Self Esteem Hypnosis

Hypnosis is also great for changing numerous other issues.

In fact, you can even use hypnosis to quit smoking and drinking. With a new positive attitude, you won't be needing anymore vices to run away to.

Self esteem hypnosis is a power tool that you must take advantage of. Use it wisely to gradually improve yourself, remove those vices, and fit in with society better.

If you're looking for more quick, simple, easy, and effective positive thinking to boost self esteem, be sure to check out this FREE self esteem blog

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alex_Hawk

Friday, June 27, 2008

Tips To Build High Self-Esteem

By Zoltan Roth

When you mention high self-esteem many of us think of some "over-confident", egoistic person who has lost the sense of reality and trying to appear more than who he really is. In my opinion there is no such a thing that being too confident, having too high "amount" of self-esteem. But pretending to be self confident and showing the signs of it on the surface and living with somebody else inside that does exist.

The outside recognition could make you believe in something what you are actually not. Great examples are gang members, belonging to a certain group just because my friends go there, church, party goers etc. You can have positive feedback from them, you can pretend to feel happy among them, but if those feelings and experiences do not match with your beliefs you would not have healthy high self-esteem.

You always have to look for the company of others who can support you with their constructive criticism. Your friends' honest opinion - even if it means that you have to change certain habits or your attitude - is more important than bold agreement.

Building high self-esteem is a learned process. Everybody, I mean everybody can do that. You just have to decide to do that.

Here are some tips to help you out;

1. FOCUS: Every single cell of your body and your mental capacity has to concentrate on 1 single thing whatever you do. Focus itself can create success. Concentration is an indispensable part of high self-esteem. It will teach you how to ignore obstructions and guide your thoughts toward the chosen subject.

2. PERSISTENCE: This is the key to live a happy, blissful life you all deserve. Many people can start something, but really few would finish it. You can find those who complete the job among the most successful and/or the wealthiest people in the world.
The reason I use and/or, because to be successful you do not necessarily have to be rich in financial terms.

Mahatma Gandhi - the Great Soul of India - started fasting and the British Empire left India. He had probably no high value assets or bank accounts. He had an enormous mental and spiritual power to show people around the world, that you can achieve what you want without aggression if you are determined enough. His persistence was peaceful and "soft". That is how he became a legend.

3. TRIAL & ERROR: We all try and make mistakes. This is inevitable for our personal growth. The more you fail the more you learn.

Think of Thomas Edison who was asked after trying to create a light bulb 10000 times unsuccessfully :
"- Mr. Edison, how did it feel to fail 10000 times?"

"- I did not fail. I found 10000 ways that won't work. - he replied."

That's the spirit. You do not fail, you just learn how not to do it.

You have to start the healing process for developing high self-esteem as soon as possible. Educate yourself, read, listen and talk to people, but please remember that at the final moment you have to make the decision. You are your own "healer". You are the one who will choose pleasure instead of pain. Self-discovery, self-creation is a wonderful journey, so

ENJOY THE JOURNEY MY FRIEND

Zoltan Roth is a native Hungarian teacher who resides in the United States. His passion is to help people around the globe to discover their enormous mental potential to create a happy, peaceful life we all deserve. For more information please visit his website at http://www.selfesteem2go.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Zoltan_Roth

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I Can't Or I Won't?

By Kent Healy

"I can't exercise today." "I can't ask her on a date!" "I can't make more money." Whoa, there partner! Let's think about this for a moment. Once we stop to think about what words we choose to use and how often we use them, we might actually surprise ourselves.

I've noticed one word specifically that has subtly squirmed its way into more and more conversations. I'm sure you're aware of the four letter word I am referring to. That's right: Can't.

It seems that the word "can't" has become a one-step solution many people use to put their nagging inner-thoughts to rest. After all, once we declare something cannot be done, we no longer need to think about, right? We can put it out of our mind and just let it go! "It's out of my control." "It's just not possible," as many would say. What a simple solution ... or is it?

The words we use have a far greater effect on our mentality than their obvious grammatical application. The word "can't" literally alters our perspective in an instant. It presupposes that we don't have the ability or the resources to get the result, which in most cases, is not true at all. But eventually, we believe what we repeatedly tell ourselves-whether it's factual or not. Before long, our creativity gradually disappears and we lower our expectations-only to set the stage for further disappointment.

Yes, there are appropriate occasions to use the word "can't", but many times, we use it to hide a deeper concern. Rarely is it used to indicate that something is actually impossible-it's often just a crutch we use to suppress the real reasons we choose not to take further action.

"I can't dance." "I can't give a speech." "I can't start a business." Sound familiar? Perhaps, if we were to be completely honest with ourselves, a more fitting description would begin with "I won't." For instance: "I won't start a business because I'm too afraid of failing." "I won't ask her on a date because I'm not willing to experience possible rejection." In other words, we choose to use the word "can't" when the process involves fear, inconvenience, or sacrifices that we are unwilling to endure. That's why "can't" is typically a choice rather than an accurate suggestion of impossibility.

If we think about it, we'll realize that it's often the very things we're putting off that will take us closer to where we really want to be. This becomes a very important concept once we understand that we will not pursue things that we believe cannot be done. If we believe that we cannot swim, then we will avoid the water. If we believe we cannot start a business, then there is no reason to try. But in reality, it's rarely a matter of "can't."

Try taking the verbal limitations out of your life. Next time you catch yourself using the "c-word," try exchanging it with "won't." For example, "I can't apply for the job" would become "I won't apply for the job because ..." fill in the blank. Who knows, you may find that the only thing holding you back is a false assumption.

Written by Kent Healy

At a young age reality gave Kent D. Healy a wake up call. He realized that he was not getting taught the important life-skills in school that he needed to become successful in the real world. Kent then partnered with his brother at age 17 to write his first book, "Cool Stuff" They Should Teach In School.

Since the book has been released, the overwhelming positive feedback has driven him to start his own publishing company called "Cool Stuff" Media, Inc. (http://www.coolstuffmedia.com ) The success of this company and the personal development material created by Kent has made him one of the most popular and sought-after young experts on the topic of success. (http://www.kenthealy.com )

Kent is a columnist, personal life coach, entrepreneur, and speaker. He has teamed up with some of the world's most respected leaders in the field of psychology and personal transformation-including the recent release of his book, The Success Principles for Teens which he co-authored with Jack Canfield.

He regularly appears in the media travels to speak to audiences of all ages and backgrounds and he is dedicated to helping others by offering them the tools they need to build a life they are proud of.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kent_Healy

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Low Self Esteem - I Think I Have it But What Can I Do

By Stefan Kelly

Low or poor self esteem is a term given to the state of being which can actually be pretty hard to describe, let alone understand. As in the case of 'depression' the phrase 'low self esteem' is used to describe the underlying cause of a range of observable behaviours. Behaviours such as shyness, anxiety, aggression, eating disorders, low expectations, pleasing others and neglect of one's own needs.

However, these perhaps only describe what others may observe. What is much more difficult to understand are your feelings and emotional experiences hidden behind those behaviours that others can see. It may be that you are aware of some sense of low self esteem and any or all of these feelings are familiar. It could also be that any, some or all of these emotions are so buried, that the behaviours above are so much a part of you, are a part of your everyday life that you have an underlying constant sense that things aren't right but don't know why.

A sense of low self esteem can connect with so many parts of daily life. Some parts may be relatively easy to talk about such as: 'I'm just shy', 'I like to make sure that everyone else is OK' or 'I find it easier not to argue'.

There may be other more deeply held personal and private self beliefs which, although you are aware of, you feel will be much more difficult to explore and make sense of: 'Everyone criticises me, even when I try really hard. Perhaps I deserve it'.

These beliefs possibly make up who you are right now but not necessarily who you want to be in the future: 'I've worked really hard and I've got everything I want but still I'm not happy'.

Relationships with your partner can also be affected in an unseen way by low self esteem: ' All I want is some attention and intimacy but I won't get it so I won't bother trying. I'll only get let down again'.

Possibly life in the workplace is difficult because it is difficult to assert yourself and get on with bosses, staff and colleagues: 'There's no point giving my opinion because no one will listen'.

Life within the family can sometimes difficult when you are experiencing constant demands for your time and energy, sometimes without any feeling for what you might want: 'I just can't say no and end up doing things I don't want to and then feel guilty wanting to do something for myself'.

If you are feeling now that this is not the way you want to live, then finding an empathic counsellor may be helpful to make some changes in your life. There are two crucial first steps in the therapy process:

· Acknowledging to yourself that things are not quite right in your life- only you can know this.

· Your desire to bring about changes to achieve a sense of your own well being and set about ways to achieve this- only you can do this.

The thought of going into counselling can, for some, be a pretty daunting prospect. You may even not be sure what it is you want to achieve let alone explain the confusing and possibly deeply personal stuff that is going on for you. But that's OK.

Having made that first step to counselling, the next part of the process is for the counsellor to work with you so that you both begin to get an understanding of you, your internal world and eventually, where you want to go.

As your level of trust in your counsellor grows you will have the opportunity to explore who you are and how you came to feel as you do now. Through this process you will be able to:

· grow your sense of esteem

· shrink those painful issues and anxieties that are so much of your present life

· create a more positive and hopeful vision of your life in the future

And remember- This Is All About You.

Stefan Kelly MBACP

May 2008.

Stefan Kelly is the co- founder of the Godalming Therapy Practice. His philosophy is simple: Every person has the resource to discover their own solution to achieving self autonomy and to become more open to a future of possibilities. Stefan's practice is based in Surrey and he has worked successfully with many clients experiencing a range of issues including low self esteem, depression, lack of control, anxiety, family and relationship issues.

http://www.godalmingtherapypractice.counselling.co.uk

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stefan_Kelly

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Develop Your Personal Power

By Anne M. Clarke

Power is not something you get from anyone else. Your ability to do things is determined by what you allow yourself to do. The things which are most likely to prevent you from doing what you want are first, fear, and second, preconceived ideas you have about your abilities.

FEAR

Fear is a paralysing influence. If you don't confront fear and deal with it head-on, it can seize you up completely so you never do anything that you haven't done before. Some people deliberately seek out things to do which involves confronting their fear. It is even possible to be a "fear junkie", hooked on the thrill of doing something fearful, and then revelling in the exhilaration of having conquered the fear.

It is somewhat similar to the way that long distance joggers get hooked on the endorphins their bodies produce at the point of pain and exhaustion. Ski jumping, hang gliding, abseiling and public speaking are other examples of situations where feeling the fear is a part of the thrill. The "fear junkies" have learnt that the only way to deal with their fear is to go out and do whatever it is, regardless of their fear.

By not letting their fear take over they are able to expand their universe. Fear is a perfectly ordinary emotion which all of us experience, and it often has a beneficial effect in keeping us safe. The downside is that, in our desire to be safe, we never venture into the unknown. In fact, this creates a sensation of helplessness and powerlessness which in the end is far more destructive than the fear.

NEGATIVE SELF-PERCEPTIONS

The other major impediment to personal power is what we have learned about ourselves and our own abilities, from earliest infancy to today.

As a child in primary school I had trouble doing sums. My teacher would put big crosses all over my pitiful efforts, then have me stand facing the rest of the class with my exercise book open under my chin so everyone could see her markings, and beat me on the legs with a ruler. The humiliation was worse than the pain. My kind mother spend a lot of time trying to help me understand, and under her gentle tutelage I made some progress, but what I basically learnt was that I wasn't able to handle numerical tasks.

Years later, when I came to study for a Master's degree in business administration, I again found myself incapable of understanding the number-crunching which was an integral part of the course. Graeme, my tutor, was almost beside himself because of my lack of what he considered to be basic knowledge. It took a lot of reprogramming myself to get to a point where I could develop enough competence to pass the exams.

Even today, when I'm confronted with a column of figures which need adding up, I experience the same feelings of blind panic and a sense of utter inability to handle the task that I felt as a little girl of seven.

TAKING CONTROL

The good thing about both fear and negative self-perceptions is that they are capable of being dealt with, leaving you a stronger and more effective person. Nobody needs to be overpowered by either.

It's a matter of mental attitude.

You have the power to take control of your life, to plan your own future and watch it come true. Your potential is truly awe-inspiring.

The first thing you have to do, however, is to accept responsibility for whatever happens to you. If you blame others, their incompetence, their laziness, their politicking, their vendetta against you, their stinginess -you are really saying that these things are outside your control and therefore you can't change them.

In fact, for some people there is an emotional payoff for blaming others for things that go wrong - it enables them to escape any responsibility and they can then enjoy the feeling of being hard-done-by and the sympathy they are able to get from others as a result of their complaining.

Once you accept that what happens to you, even disagreeable things which come through the actions of others, is within your control, you will have taken the first and most important step to having a positive influence on the views of those others towards you.

Your behaviour directly affects others' behaviour towards you, regardless of whether it is favourable to you or not. So you might as well make it favourable, by in a way that creates positive attitudes towards you.

It can help to play a game with yourself, and behave "as if' you already had the job, status, money, popularity or whatever it is that you crave. Thoughts are like magnets - positive thoughts attract positive results, and negative thoughts attract negative results. By permitting yourself only positive thoughts, and acting them out in your behaviour, you are actually increasing the likelihood of achieving your desires. Everyone wants to be "successful", but often without further defining the term "success".

At a superficial level, success is often taken to refer to all the trappings of wealth such as luxury cars and designer clothes. This is only a rather limited view of success based on the accumulation of wealth. But to many, success is more subtle and more personal. It could be a real success to bring up a fine family of healthy and employable children, to overcome serious injuries following a motor accident, or to help a migrant to become proficient in the English language.

Success is really something that you create for yourself. By working to overcome your fear and your negative self-perceptions you will open the path to the fulfillment of your dreams.

Anne Clarke offers a free ebook, "Managing People", which provides all sorts of strategies, advice and tips to help you get on better at work, reduce stress,deal with difficult people and become a better co-worker and leader. Download it free from find out more at http://www.squidoo.com/managing-people

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anne_M._Clarke

Monday, June 23, 2008

Low Self Esteem Signs

By Manuel Wiggins

Teen years are crucial - we all know that. We have heard over and over again that your teenage years play a huge role in the person you become, the adult you become. So it is very important to make sure that teenagers get all the chances and all the opportunities they need to build their own personality and become an individual in their own right. However, this is very often easier said that done.

Low self esteem is a problem that every single person has to deal with at some point of time or the other, but teenagers are usually the most susceptible to this problem. The difficult part is that, if you know that they are having problems with low self esteem - well, more than normal - you can help them deal with it. Teenagers are not exactly known for opening up to their parents or any adults, though, so the only way you can do this is to watch out for low self esteem signs.

There are plenty of low self esteem signs that you can see in your teen, is only you know what to look for. Look for gradual changes in behavior that cannot be explained as just growing up. The trouble is that these changes can also be apparently positive. If your teen becomes helpful, and polite, well, it seems like a great thing, right? The catch is that this change may stem from a desire for approval, and this very desire for approval is one of the strongest low self esteem signs you can hope for.

The flip side of the coin is that, if after a while they do not get the approval they wanted, they can do a complete turnaround and become surly and sulky. Look for phrases such as "What does it matter, anyway," when they talk about themselves. This is another classic low self esteem sign.

The signs can be outward, too. If your teen comes home one evening happy, and seems to have made new friends, it is great news. The low self esteem style comes in if the next day you will find him or her coming down the stairs looking like a stranger. The desire to fit in is natural when you are a teenager. But the most important thing that comes out of your teenage years is your individuality, and this is one classic low self esteem sign that shows that that individuality is being sacrificed in order to fit in.

Not everything your teen does can be seen as a low self esteem sign. It is only natural that your teen's self esteem ebbs and flows during these difficult years. Finding out when it becomes a problem can be difficult, but it needs to be done.

Manuel Wiggins is an accomplished niche website developer and author. To learn more about low self esteem signs visit New Self esteem for current articles and discussions.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Manuel_Wiggins

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Is Your Self-Esteem in Pain?

By Francis Hosein

You may not realize that the thing that you are doing in your life now that is holding you back has to do with a low self esteem.

You may not have given much attention to your low self esteem which is causing you a lot more problems that you thought.

Self-criticism

Do you find yourself criticizing everything you do, before anyone else does it?
Are you very hard on yourself and you can never be perfect?

You allow the critical parent or adult to take over and you feel you can never live up to that standard yet you do not let it go.

Feelings of worthlessness

If your feeling of worthlessness is stopping you from moving on and getting a better life you can take action by getting help to break this cycle within you.

Self doubt

Do you doubt your self and every action you take are you afraid of not being good enough?

This may not be coming only from you as the adult and may have its roots in your pass as a child.

Your self talk

Your parent may have use negative talk to help motivate you except it did not it only made it worst and although your parent may not be ain your life you still carry on where they left off.

Feelings of inadequacy

Feeling inadequate may be the only way you know about behaving and letting go of this part of you is letting go of a friend that you have carried with you since earl childhood.

Allowing abuse

Do you allow others to abuse you, does it feel at least you are getting some attention, or that someone is noticing you.

Being a victim

Is being a victim a role you have known all of your life starting with you feeling like a victim with your caretakers?

Overcoming weakness

Your weakness that have brought you to a low self-esteem does not mean that you are sentence for a life of this you can start working on your weakness by making a list of them and taking actions each day to break the pattern.

You can make your weaknesses your friend by first facing them, talking about them in the open with family and friends, and laughing at them.

The way you look at you

You can look at you and blame yourself, be angry, be a victim or you can look for the little thing that you like about you that makes you special and build on that.

You keep alive this critical part and the moment you give this part its walking papers you allow yourself to live a different life, a life without guilt or blame.

Confusion

Confusion sets in the moment you start to create a new identity because the old you are afraid of dying because it does not know how your new world will be.

Healthy self-esteem

Having a healthy self esteem starts with having a relationship with self, by taking the time to know, love and trust in you first.

Conclusion: Your self esteem may be in pain because you are to busy with what others think and not what is best for you.

The author grants full reprint rights to this article. You may reprint and electronically distribute this article so long as its contents remain unchanged, and the author's byline remains in place. Francis is the owner of trans-formers.com if you want more information on relationships in your life you can Visit http://www.trans-formers.com/free-relationship-advice.html

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Francis_Hosein

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Improving Body Image and Self Esteem May Be a Key to Your Success

By Sharon Francis

Your positive self-esteem is your foundation for success and without it you can feel down, depressed, inferior and suffer a lack confidence in many situations. There are many factors, affirmations and lessons to help you on the way to improving self esteem. One major connection that will be discussed here is that of the connection between how an individual sees their body image and how it affects their self esteem.

Building Self Esteem - A Healthy Body Leads to a Healthy Mind

Floppy loose skin, fat deposits building up around your neck and under your chin, love handles, fat rolls under your bra line, thighs, hips, back becoming roly-poly, a protruding fat tummy! Your body image and self esteem definitely have a link as to how you see your self and no matter what compliments other people give, if you are unhappy about your image then you may not be willing to accept it.....a sure sign of low self esteem.

People come in all shapes and sizes and it's easy to say that you should be happy with what you are born with but there is no rule to say that you should adjust your body image to fit in with 'the norm of society'...all you need to do to improve your body image and self esteem is make adjustments to the way you think about yourself and make sure you feel healthy and if that means taking exercise then all the better for you. The main point is that you feel good about yourself without the drastic measures of surgery.

Despite having said all that, the stresses and strains of the modern world place people under increasing pressure such as earning more money, looking younger, looking thinner, being a better parent and having a successful career and so on it goes means that building self esteem is no easy task. Improving how you look can definitely have a positive effect on your self esteem which will ultimately help you in your career or what ever path you choose to take. Some people handle body image very differently than others and often you will find those suffering from physical deformities may have a far higher self esteem than others who don't.

How you choose to improve your body image is your choice. One important aspect is that you are motivated as once you start to feel the benefits then you will wonder why you never started sooner. Just the initial realisation that there is a connection between body image and self esteem is one important stepping stone to feeling better about yourself.

For more help and some methods to improve body image and self esteem and generally improving self esteem then visit http://www.lowselfesteemadvice.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sharon_Francis

Friday, June 20, 2008

Love and Self-esteem

By Gloria Hamilten

Do you ever think you should visit someone, like a member of the family, and then decide against it, and then the next time you think about it, quite some time has passed?

You feel bad, so you postpone it again.

Does this sound familiar? Yes, I'm sure it does.

But really, some people do not care about what you have achieved; they just want you to show up.

We do not always need to impress others, to tell them fascinating interesting things that we have being doing.

They just want us to show up and keep company for awhile.

Each visit does not have to be long, rather have more short ones and more frequent ones and just chat; just 'be with them'.

This is what loving is all about, showing up, and this is what feeds self-esteem.

Research findings have shown that successful women in strenuous, traditionally male-dominated corporate environments are physically going bald as they are now producing more testosterone.

Many of these women wear pants suits, very tailored suits and try to fit in to the masculine physical and behavioural 'look' to achieve credibility.

They lose their femininity, forgetting the yin and yang harmony of life, and the importance of loving yourself and being true to yourself to build self-esteem.

If you really want to do something, really, really, really, and there is no apparent physical hindrance, you can: nothing and no one can stop you, not even the 'glass ceiling'.

A different issue exists, whether you want to, but if you want to, you can.

An analogy for self-esteem is like a cattle pen holding in the cattle and the gate is locked.

Open the gate and the cattle will stampede through.

Open the gate to your blockages of self-esteem, and let your self-esteem, stampede out - for all the world to enjoy.

Only you can make these changes, because your self-esteem is not dependent on anything except love.

You are a child of your Creator and are born perfect.

Conditioning has altered your belief in yourself, but you have not changed in your innate perfection.

Remember achievements and events just 'things that we experience', they are not who we are.

To get attached is pointless.

This does not mean that we cannot get excited, that is the emotion we keep, but the event that caused that emotion, that is what we need to detach from.

For example, detach from money, just acknowledge what it can do.

You find people who have this outlook on money, often attract money to them, because they have no attachment it.

For many millionaires, multi-millionaires and billionaires, it is the process of acquiring the money that is exciting and what they can give back to society as a result of it.

I've met a few people, who said that once they had made their first million, they were surprised at how uneventful it really was.

They could not believe it. For so long they had dreamt of that moment, and now that it was here, it was a non-event.

They continued working for the fun of it, and of course amassed more.

Just think of a present you once really, really wanted, and then you received it. There was no more excitement, was there?

Same thing.

And finally.

Love cannot be taught. Love is 'learned' by seeing it demonstrated.

Love needs to be demonstrated - actions speak louder than words.

Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and People Skills for Business Professionals, such as Time Management, Negotiation Skills, Developing High-Performance Teams, Assertion Skills, Building International Rapport, Conflict Management and Resolution, Presentation and Platform Skills.

Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as ADD and its relations.

She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Corporate Organizations, Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia.

Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.

Gloria Hamilten has authored the eBook: "Practical Self-Hypnosis for Success" and many Reports and online articles.

Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres.

Visit her websites:

http://www.connect4results.com

http://neuro-linguistic-pro-site.com

This article may be freely reprinted or distributed in its entirety in any ezine, newsletter, or website. The author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and be included with every reproduction.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gloria_Hamilten

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Self-Esteem - Open the Floodgates

By Gloria Hamilten

Children often use love substitutes to get attention either positive attention or negative attention.

When you were growing up and were still a child, quite unconsciously, you used the three "As" to obtain what you perceived to be love.

The three As are:

• Attention

• Approval

• Achievement

If as a child, you felt deprived of love, you would have sought it using these three strategies.

You would have sought attention, even if it was negative attention. Feeling starved for love, the feeling that someone was talking to you, even if it was repramanding fulfilled your feeling of not being loved.

With the second strategy, approval, your reasoning would have been: 'If I am good I will get approval and that means they love me.'

So, you find the child who would appear to conform so as to be praised by teachers, even if it mean being ostracised by peers, as a goody-goody.

Either way, the child would have felt a sense of importance.

And the third, achievement, is a type of alternative or substitute for approval and/or attention.

Achievement could have come in getting awards and walking up on stage at school assemblies, final year award presentations, in charge of extra-curricular club groups, and so on.

So your school results were either very good and you would receive approval, of they were very bad and you would still receive attention.

However, even if you received heaps of attention and approval, these artificial means of getting 'love', still left an empty feeling.

Thus you did more of the above to get more love substitutes, but it never filled the void.

Many of these characteristics from school days disappeared once you had more control on your life and you sought different ways of being noticed as an adult.

In your everyday adult world you may not be aware of the level of your self-esteem.

It is when you need to get out of your comfort zone, when you have to try something new, something unfamiliar, when you have to do something you've unsuccessfully tried before, that the true worth of your self-esteem surfaces.

Have you ever caught yourself saying any of the following?

• I can't do that!

• I'll never be able to do that!

• I'm no good at that; never have been!

• I've never been good at that!

• Mum always said, I can't do those things

• Dad says, I'm hopeless at ball games

• I've always been too weak to do that

• I've always hated art; I can't draw

• I have to do (whatever it is) to prove it to my parents

• I have to prove myself

• I'll show them how good I am!

• I'll do it my way, too bad if I stuff it

• I usually stuff it, anyway

• And so on

If you have ever said anything, even remotely resembling the above, there are chinks in your self-esteem.

Seriously.

Here is a quote from Paul Blackburn, a highly respected life change guru of Australia, I especially like:

"You are the resource the rest of your life depends on."

Ummmm. What do you say to that?

Humbling, isn't it?

How are you looking after your resource, you?

Here is another quote:

"People are like teabags because you don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water."

Nice, isn't?

Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and People Skills for Business Professionals, such as Time Management, Negotiation Skills, Developing High-Performance Teams, Assertion Skills, Building International Rapport, Conflict Management and Resolution, Presentation and Platform Skills.

Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as ADD and its relations.

She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Corporate Organizations, Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia.

Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.

Gloria Hamilten has authored the eBook: "Practical Self-Hypnosis for Success" and many Reports and online articles.

Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres.

Visit her websites:

http://www.connect4results.com

http://neuro-linguistic-pro-site.com

This article may be freely reprinted or distributed in its entirety in any ezine, newsletter, or website. The author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and be included with every reproduction.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gloria_Hamilten

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Low Self-Esteem Affects Every Area of Your Life

By Jackie Beck

Self-esteem is the way one feels about and views themselves. Self-esteem has a simple definition, yet is a vitally important component of a successful and happy life. Without it, confidence lacks, depression or feelings of inadequacy increase and the quality of life in general begins to deteriorate. Self-esteem affects our relationships, our happiness with our life, our overall balance and health. Without a good self-esteem, then we will not reach the quality of life we are capable of reaching and our relationships with others and ourselves will suffer.

Symptoms that need to be treated and relieved are:

• Admiration of others without belief in own ability to accomplish similar achievements

• Always asking others for their opinion; never trusting one's self

• Easily exploited

• Feelings of being inferior

• Feelings of depression

• Feelings of guilt

• Feelings of unworthiness

• Frequent hesitation

• Lacking confidence

• Passive Nature

• Undervalue self

Through a combination of natural flower ingredients, your entire body will be brought back into balance and these symptoms of low self-esteem will begin to disappear. You will feel good about yourself and your confidence will increase. Additionally, life will begin to be more fun. Your relationship with yourself and with others will improve and your overall outlook will pick up and look up.

Specific ingredients in the flower solution are a combination of Cerato, Gentian, Larch, Pine and Scleranthus. These ingredients and this solution do not take the place of ability but helps you to know your abilities and feel the confidence and self-esteem to match. There is no risk whatsoever involved, with instead, everything to gain. No side effects, no weight gain, no negative effects whatsoever. Only help in a natural and native supplement through the essences of flowers.

By boosting your confidence and feelings of adequacy just when you need it, this combination, simply put works. Let these natural flower ingredients work for you too and begin to get started right now on the rest of your life; feeling confident, happy and looking outwardly your best!

Jackie Beck is the owner and founder of Healing Combinations.

By using Bach Flower essences, discovered by Dr. Edward Bach in the 1920's and 1930's, Healing Combinations provides natural remedies for low self-esteem. They produce natural products for a variety of physical, mental, and emotional issues, with a sense of social responsibility and integrity. You can purchase them individually in your local health food store or in the Low Self-Esteem combination at http://www.healingcombinations.com/lowselfesteem Think of them like affirmations for your soul.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jackie_Beck