Build Your Self Esteem

By Judith Gerhart

The other morning I attended a women's networking meeting. The group's focus was female entrepreneurship, and the room was filled with an eclectic mix of married, divorced, widowed and single women. Many were trying to start a business while at the same time as trying to pull their lives together. I noticed a lot of talk about self-esteem and confidence. We all took 30 seconds to stand up and sell our ideas and ourselves.

Many of the women talked about their lack self-confidence and how it made them afraid to stand up and speak for the 30 seconds. Yet I marveled at how well all these women did, keeping in mind that for many, it had been a long time since they stood in front of their peers to present themselves as brands, and not just as moms or wives.

It reminded me of how little we support and teach young women about self-esteem, which has two distinct components: The first component is self-confidence. The second part of self-esteem, which I consider more critical, is the ability to take action.

When we take action we begin to believe in ourselves
My observation is that when we take action we begin to believe in ourselves. Taking this important step immediately improves our self-worth. Yes, we can be a great speaker and we can be friendly and outgoing and look amazing. But often is that little voice telling us we're "a fraud" or not "good enough" or "not smart enough" that keeps us playing small or not playing to our full potential. When we're not at our full potential, we know it in our bones.

A good friend recently reminded me that when our subconscious, super-conscious and consciousness are all in alignment, life flows. Well, in divorce, separation and widowhood, how is this possible? Our internal being knows we're not in flow. Every part of our life is turned upside down and we can't ever imagine it righted again to enjoy level, even-keeled life.

How you do anything is how you do everything
At the same time, the common lack of understanding on how to handle or manage our money story only complicates matters.

For example, here's a money story I heard today from a woman who set out to create a national networking association for women who work from home. The woman was well groomed and spoke professionally at the front of the room (her self-confidence was evident). What surprised me was when she stated: "I did not start this network group to make lots of money-that does not matter to me." Hearing that, I knew she had low self-esteem around herself and around money. Truth is, how you do anything is how you do everything. Your money and life story are parallel. I wanted to say to her: "You should never say money is not important. If you repeatedly said "my husband is not important" or "my children are not important to me. Do you think they would stick around?" I don't think so. Well the same applies to your attitude and opinion of money-it definitely won't stick around if you don't think it's important.

A couple of things to think about this week...
What part of your self-esteem needs work? The self-confidence part? Or the ability to take action part?
Do you often say: "money isn't that important?"
Did you ever say: "my husband isn't important?" Did he stick around?
Do you think your super-conscious, subconscious and conscious are in alignment today?

Next week I'll discuss more on the inner game of wealth and tools that can help you build your self-esteem around money.

Wishing you a prosperous and inspiring day,
Dr. Judith Gerhart

http://www.divorcemyway.com
http://www.woetowow.com
http://www.globalfinancialliteracy.com

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